X-Rayed

One day at a time

2007-05-23T19:53:00.000-04:00

you stand in the line just to hit a new low
you're faking a smile with the coffee to go
you tell me your life's been way off line
you're falling to pieces everytime
and i don't need no carryin' on

you sing a sad song just to turn it around
you say you don't know
you tell me don't lie
you work at a smile and you go for a ride

you had a bad day

Say what?

2007-03-14T12:28:00.000-04:00

As an xray technologist in training, I am responsible for telling my patients about the risk of each procedures and giving clear instructions. However, sometimes I wish I can just skip the chit chat...

- Asking a 52 year old woman "is there any chance you are pregnant at the moment?"
- Asking a 14 year old girl "are you sexually active?"
- Asking any woman about the starting date of her last period
- Patients telling me "Don't worry, I got my tubes tied."
- Or the 14 year old girl telling me "Don't worry, I'm on the pills."

I really don't want to know. Sometimes the things that I say haunt me back when I think about them later on.

- Telling my patients "we are all done here, you can put your pants back on."
- Or "Lie on your back, bend your knees up and spread out your legs please."

The more I think about it, the harder for me to sleep peacefully. Maybe I'm just young and inexperience. Man, that's my career.

I'm back.

2007-03-13T14:52:00.000-04:00

Only 6 more months til I officially graduate from Queen's and leave Kingston. I can't wait. The past 3 and a half years in Kingston I managed to f*** up many things but now I'm just thankful that I have realize the damage I've done in other people's lives and in my own life. Hopefully I will be able to recover and move on. Enough of words from the bottom of my heart, I'm in the library right now and the girl sitting next to me has just reached the 4 hour mark of browsing through facebook. What's up with that? At least go for a lunch break.

Let it go.

2006-10-30T22:54:00.000-05:00

It seems like many troubles in my life will just go away if I could just let it go.

If u read this you caught me at a very bad time...

The four year wait has just begun.

2006-07-09T17:41:00.000-04:00

(((

I haven't blogged in a while. However, after the World Cup final, I suddenly have the urge to express my opinion on the most watched event of the world...

So here goes!

Best Game - Germany defeated Argentina (1:1, PSO 4:2)

This quarterfinal game saw Germany came back to scored with only ten minutes remaining. There was entertaining drama and fantastic soccer. In the end, everyone was crying for Argentina.

Ugliest Game I - Australia tied Croatia (1:1)

With so much at stake, both teams were going all out. Sparks were flying and tension was in the air. By the last minutes of the game, every player was pushing and shoving. One Croatian player even got three yellow cards before he got sent off the field.

Ugliest Game II - Portugal defeated Netherlands (1:0)

If you have seen this game, I don't have to say much. This game seemed to involved elementary school kids trying to cheat when their gym teacher wasn't watching. There were too many injuries that six minutes were added in the end. Worst game hands down.

Most Disappointing Game - Australia defeated Japan (3:1)

As an Asian, naturally I would love to support my fellow Asians. However, watching Japan conceded three goals in the last eight minute of the game, I could only blame that the Japanese team is just too short.

Most Boring Game - Argentina tied Netherlands (0:0)

Billed as the most anticipated game in the preliminary. However, with the best players being substituted and both teams qualified for the next round, this game hardly lived up to its name.

Biggest Upset - Sweden tied Trinidad and Tobago (0:0)

Shame on you, Larsson, Ibrahimovic, and Ljungburg for not able to score against the Soca Warriors.

Biggest Flop - France defeated Brazil (1:0)

The Dream Team has gone down. Brazil losing in soccer is equivalent to Canada losing in hockey or China losing in... um... ping pong? You get the point.

Best team - France

I'm a French Fan, so they're getting my vote no matter what. Being overshadowed by their terrible performance four years ago, they still managed to go all the way to the final game. It's funny that eight years after their 98' victory, I'm still seeing the same French players on the field. They must be exhausted and no wonder Zidane went nuts and started headbutting other players. Nevertheless, they are still the coolest team in my eyes.

Worst team - Saudi Arabia

They suck. Period.

Most Pleasant Surprise I - Ghana advancing to second round.

A typical African team, Ghana was quick with the ball and made many powerful shots. Upsetting the Czech gave new life to this somewhat lack lustre World Cup Tournament.

Most Pleasant Surprise II - Francessco Totti's new hair cut

This Italian player's usual long rugged hair became history. Current his clean new look got many people talking. Too bad it was his look and his ankle injury that stood out and not his usual flair with the ball.

Most Unpleasant Surprise - Ukraine advancing to the quarterfinals.

Andriy Shevchenko does not equal to 11 people. Enough said. They don't deserve to be there.

Most Overrated Team - England

Everyone loves England. They always grab the attention from the media. Well, they never got mine. The way they played was somewhat disappointing, especially they were very confident that this was their year. Never did they have the performance to back up that claim. Rooney, overrated. Lampard, overrated.

Best Jersey - Cote D'Ivoire

A slightly lighter orange than the one on the Dutch Jersey, the whole outfit seemed sharp but not overly expressive.

Worst Jersy - Croatia

It must have taken a lot of national pride for the Croatian to put this jersey on.

New Found Favourite Player - Kaka (Brazil)

He may seem like your average geek but he's no geek when it comes to handing a soccer ball. He's an amazing attacking midfield.

Can't wait til South Africa 2010!

Frenzy

2006-06-21T00:29:00.000-04:00

>

In the middle of exam weeks and World Cup games, I manage to stay sane. Update you guys with posts and emails once exams are over : )

Housemates Fun

2006-06-04T17:55:00.000-04:00

Housemate #1

HM #1: Hey, you're here!
HM #2: Ya, nice to see you.
HM #1: You're here for dinner with Gavin?
HM #2: ???
HM #1: Oh I forgot. You live here.

Housemate #2

HM #2: Gavin, do you know how to use conditioner?
Me: I don't really use them. I just use 2 in 1.
HM #2: Freakin guy, I dunno how to use it.
Me: Why all of a sudden you need to use conditioner?
HM #2: 'Cause the lady's back from her trip. I need to look good. (he said it with a straight face.)
Me: ... alrite then, I guess you need to be a pretty boy to impress her.
HM #2: Hey! I used to be a pretty boy when I was younger, now I got big (muscles).
Me: You'll always be a pretty boy. Hope you can read.

Me: (made fun of HM #2 and his girlfriend)
HM #2: Gavin, you know what?
Me: What?
HM #2: You're the b____ of the house.
Me: (jaw dropped)

Housemate #3

HM #3: I'll be productive this summer!
Me: Good for you!

(10 seconds later)

HM #3: zzz...

The above situations might be a little bit exaggerated but... nah... close enough.

French Open Heat

2006-06-03T16:04:00.000-04:00

-

Rafael Nadal, the beast of the tennis world today, has just won his 56th match on clay surface today and further extend his record today. Federer is still my favourite player, but I do want Nadal's biceps.

Exams coming up real soon...

Challenged

2006-05-24T00:01:00.000-04:00

Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.

~Romans 12:3~

Two weeks ago was the annual Campus Challenge held by AFC. I had a good time. The program, events, and workshops did not, however, contribute to most of my memorable experience. It was the simplest things that hit the mark: small sharings and reflection. Definitely an humbling experience...

I have always been known for giving 150% of my time to KCCF. Every single day of my life at Queen's was pretty much devoted to serving in KCCF. "Faith without deeds is dead", as I would always tell my fellow brothers and sisters. Never was I once believed that I should slow down and stay still. I thought I was doing the right thing and I was giving my best to bring God's Kingdom closer. It was during the past two years of serving that I became obsessed with the sucess from each ministry and the support received from my brothers and sisters. Proving to everyone that I can be involved in ministries just like everyone else became my goal of serving.

I have finally realized what my flaws have been for the past few years. Many actions that I took not only made myself more bitter and negative but also hurt many of my fellow brothers and sisters. I felt shattered and empty. Broken. However, being broken is one thing. Letting Christ to raise me up from all these broken pieces of me is a complete different matter. I have been struggling with self defeat from day to day basis. I haven't been able to truely look past my inadequacies and strive forward as a renewed person. This kind of negativity led to unrest in my soul. That completely contradicts the meaning of believing in the power of cross, the message of Jesus Christ, and the promise of eternal life. As a result, peace and joy in Christ seem out of reach.

This is definitely a challenge to my perseverence in my Holy living. Please pray for me.

I saw myself on TV...

2006-05-16T18:52:00.000-04:00

-
As the second season of Grey's Anatomy came to an end last night, I suddenly realize for the whole time I was watching myself in that show. In the midst of all the drama, I have found my alter ego in that show... I am George O'Malley.

Here are the similarities:

- I tend to be nervous around my authorities.
- Though I don't live with girls, I hang out with them a lot.
- I get nervous and shy around girls whom I have crush on.
- Many other guys see me as a wussy. haha
- I am not very confident about my work, even though I know my stuff.
- I suck at saying "I love you".
- Women like Dr. Bailey and Christina can control my life.
- I used to be chubby.

I am George. Hurray.

Unplugged Addiction

2006-05-15T01:13:00.000-04:00

I am officially addicted to unplugged games. Just knowing that there's an opportunity to play a board game can give me adrenaline rush. Today was supposed to be my school work day. Instead, I played 2 games of settlers and 2 games of Puerto Rico and each game lasted at least 2 good hours.

It was Benissa who got me hooked on games in the beginning. As smart as I may look, I am never good at strategy games. Outsmart, outwit, and outlast other players was something I do. However, as long as I am having fun, I don't mind losing (I didn't win today, as I was helplessly outwitted by edmond everytime).

Here is the list of my games:

Bang! Card Games and Bang! Dodge City Expansion - $30

The Settlers of Catan - $45

Tigris & Euphrates - $75

Ticket to Ride - $65

Puerto Rico - $60

Carcassonne and Carcassonne Expansion: Inns and Cathedrals - $60

A Month worth of Apartment Rent = Endless Fun - Priceless

Come visit me so we can play!!!

A 2-hour Haircut

2006-05-13T01:32:00.000-04:00

I was trying to smile in every picture but there were hair in my shorts and they itched really bad.

At least the haircut's free : )

For the love of the game

2006-05-11T01:43:00.000-04:00

As a big fan of tennis, I have always paid close attention to professional tennis players. How good they are. What raquets they use. What country they represent. What they wear.

What they wear? Yes, what they wear. Not every tennis player can be Anna Kournikova who always look glamorous on and off court. (She's barely on the court now.) But definitely, there are somethings you just can't wear.

Introducing Dominik Hrbaty, the #1 male tennis player from Slovakia. He believes that he can pull off wearing a pick shirt.

Looks all right on him. However, he also believes that holes on shirts can be a good ventilation for the body on a hot summer day in Australia.

There's nothing more disturbing than a male tennis player wearing a pink shirt with butterfly holes on the back. For the love of the game, please fill in the holes, Mr Hrbaty.

Gavo's Back

2006-05-10T18:14:00.000-04:00

Today I have felt the urge of blogging, so... I'm gonna blog more now! From now on, there'll be a new post every other day, hopefully...

So today I was bored to my mind (even though I have a big test on cranial anatomy tomorrow), so I was scrolling through my cell phone and found a lot of "interesting" pictures...

Avocado Sushi

My 20th Birthday

This picture is gonna get me anything I want.

Sister eating ice cream

Um...

Pat and Dan must love their McD's

Um... um...

Mike is not very... photogenic.

Kevin is very photogenic.

Ashamed

2006-05-03T14:30:00.000-04:00

It takes a man to apologize. It takes a bigger man to let go of his sins, shame, and guilt, and strive forward to becoming a true man of God.

At this moment, I am trying to be the bigger man.

It's Over.

2006-04-23T13:38:00.000-04:00

Cell group "Fried Tofu" has officially been disbanded last night at Dairy Queen. Originally we were going to White Mountain but the weather was not very cooperative. After we all got our blizzards, cones, and what not, we sat down and shared about our sentimental feelings (or lack there of). Everyone shared how the cell group has impacted their lives and confessed to everyone about things we felt towards each other when we first met. It was funny how at the beginning of the year they thought I was an international student from Hong Kong who was also loud, weird, and fruity, and now they are more confirmed on that fact. In many ways I will miss this cell group from the bottom of my heart even though insults and unbearably dry comments were thrown at me every single minute we have cell group meetings and Bible Studies.

Struggles were definitely there. How was I supposed to glue everyone together when no one knew anyone in the cell group at the beginning of the year? How can I make them care for each other and see each other as "a friend"? Looking at last night's meeting, I know very well that I really didn't have to do anything. God took care of it. Even though I was called to be a cell group leader, many things are out of my hands. However, I was guilty of not praying enough for this cell group, as I was bothered by many other ministries in which I was involved. "If only I have done more, things could have been better...", I always told myself. But I have to thank God for every single Fried Tofu there is. It is through all these struggles that I could catch a glimpse of God's love installed in all your hearts. It may be the end of the year but it is only the beginning of something much greater. I have no doubts that God will glue us closer together in the upcoming years. This is my prayer for you guys.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

~Romans 15:13

Fried Tofu 05/06, thanks for the ride.

Cell Group Convo Series #3

2006-04-22T11:47:00.000-04:00

Cell group's last Bible Study Night:

Me: Alrite, we're done with the Bible Study... Let's take a group picture...
Queenie: Ya! Let's take it!
Everyone else: (murmured) ok...
Me: How do we do this? hm...
Gid: I wanna be the center piece.
Queenie: You're always the center piece...
Me: Alrite I'm setting the timer. GET READY.

Zap!

Steph: I think the cell group leaders should be in the center for the next one.
Me: (Since I love being in the spot light) sure! (pressed camera)

zap!

Me: Oops... I forgot to set the timer.
Jo: Can you do anything right?

Insults came flying at me...

Me: Ok I'll take it again... READY...

I ran full speed to the designated spot, tripped over couple desks and chairs along the way.

zap!

Queenie: This time let's take a serious one. One that looks normal.
Me: Ok let's do this...

zap!

Me: I forgot to set the timer again...

Everyone rolled his/her eyes.

Me: This one's gonna be the money shot. READY...

I jumped over the desk on which the camera is and tripped over it. Camera got rotated to the left...

Queenie: Everyone hurried and run to your right!

Mad scramble...

zap!

Queenie: Gavin you jerk. You better get this right or else...

zap!

Me: I forgot the...

Queenie: (speechless)... ok one more...

zap!

Everyone looking at the picture...

Steph: Gavin, I think you are just not photogenic. You look kinda... how do I say this... a little...

Queenie: You big head is in everyone way! We need another picture. That one's ugly.

And so we gave up taking a perfect normal lovey dubey picture.

Cell Group Members "slandering each other" Pose

Exaggerated Girly Pose

Gangsta Pose (Gideon and Stephen ruined it)

More cell group wrapping up to follow.

No, it's not about the Easter Bunny...

2006-04-15T02:13:00.000-04:00

Who is Jesus Christ?

Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness,
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself and because obedient to death - even death on a cross!

Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God and Father.

~ Phillippians 2:6-11

Turn back Time

2006-04-07T02:39:00.000-04:00

While I was sitting in KCCF Grad night 06 looking at all of the grads, all I could ever think of was somehow regreding of not getting to know a lot of them a lot better. Now when the opportunities seem to be fading away, all I can ever do is to pray for God's glory to shine on them continually every single day. On that night, it seems that the barriers between each other broke down instantly. I guess it's always magical when it comes to saying goodbyes. If only I could turn back time...

Ericson "always my cgl" Viola

Mel "I love meat" Tan

Victor "ziggy jiggy with it" Wu

Melody "short and sweet" Li

Darren "please don't define me by my muscles" Wong

Elim "sharp tongue" Gho, Jessica "Hippy-o-hippy-ye" Lui, Johnny "King of Dogpound" Wong

Sam "Laugh at your face" Mo

James "I am the cable fly" Fong

Jordon "Stop making fun of my last name" Wong

Benissa "The next 'Yau' Ming in the Law court" Yau

Vanessa "always innocent" Chan

Felix "Hockey, Food, and Fuel cells are my life" Yuen

Winnie "Diva" Chui

Daniel "little bro" Oliveira

Gideon "My calculator is my girlfriend" Yong

Jonathon "I need to eat veggie" Chia

Angie "Love & Hate" Tang

Andy "I'm really, really popular" Chow

I thank my God every time I remeber you. ~ Philippians 1:3

So near... yet so far

2006-04-06T21:53:00.000-04:00

"Just one more! Gavin, just one more!", as I reminded myself every other minute while nerding it up in the one and only wonderful Stauffer Library for the 6th straight day (14 hours/day). Sleeping has been a stranger to me and 4th floor male washroom has just become my new best friend. Yet, I can still find time to blog right at this moment. Somethings never change and Gavin's tendency to procrasinate during desparate times is one of them. After tomorrow morning, I will be able to feel alive once again. Anyhow, there are a bunch of people I really want to thank and I can't wait til after my exams (another opportunity to procrasinate).

Jess Pun, for giving me an apple and discouraging me to buy a bag of chips to munch on
Aaron Yu, for giving a box of Dixie Lee's Tuesday Special
Bernice Ho, for insisting me to take a piece of chocolate on top of peanut butter cookie look-a-like thing during cell group leaders dinner before I left for studying
Liz Ngan, for cooking a great dinner in a box while I was expecting a burger from Leonard Cafe
Alvita Chan, for buying me a avocado
Calvin Lau, for paying for my chicken strips with his flex (he also flexed his biceps while flexing his student card)
Jordon Wong, for commenting on my last post TWICE, no one has ever done that for me
Benita Lee, for giving me one third of a bag of Miss Vickies (Salt & Vinegar), she couldn't finish it on her own...
Edmond Li, for frying me some of that fine rice (included multiple nurples to go along with his gracious act)
Pat Luk, for offering me some of her cheesy munchies (actually I took them without asking her, but thanks anyway : )
Mel Tan, for making me a sign saying "go gavo" with gold glitter (Thinking it was dried already, I put my notes on top of it and some of the lettering got stuck on the back of my notes)

Last but not least...

Lincoln Lau, for taking down my door, replace it with a big board, taking away my mattress, suspending my student card and kinder surprise toy into jello, playing guitar in my room while I was trying to study at 3am, taking out my coat rack from the back of my door and hammering it on the wall, slanted...

Rejoice Always?!

2006-04-02T20:15:00.000-04:00

April 3: Basic Science I Exam
- Physics and Apparatus
- Quality Assurance

April 4: Basic Science II Exam
- Radiation Biology and Protection
- Image Recording
- Digital Imaging Technology
- Image Quality

April 5: Clinical Aspect I Exam
- Anatomy and Physiology
- Radiographic Pathology (Some questions to include radiographic images)

April 6: Clinical Aspect II Exam
- Radiographic Positioning
- Special Procedures in Radiography
- Radiographic Critique

April 7: Clinical Aspects III Exam
- Ethics, Patient Care
- Health Care Principles
- Research Methodology

... I'll see you guys in a week.

When the tears begin to fall...

2006-03-29T10:26:00.000-05:00

It's been a long time since I last updated. Past few months have been more of a spiritual rollar coaster ride for me, big ups and big downs. I'll be hard pressed to try putting everything in one post but there is something I want you guys to hear.

Couple days ago I've decided to go swimming (by myself) in the pec. I was going to library afterwards so my books and notes were packed in my bag along with my swimming stuff. After swimming, I put all my wet stuff in a plastic bag along and wrapped around it with my towel and, with much effort, I managed to shoved everything back in my backpack. That night I went back home and opened my bag. To my surprise, I found out that a big chuck of my Bible at the top got soaking wet and became wrinkly. Everything else was fine. My pathology notes looked as new as always (since I never looked at them). I panicked and opened up my Bible, wishing that it will dry on its own and become... well not wrinkly again. The bad thing is that it was the book of Proverbs where the pages were the most wet. I've always been a big fan of proverbs!!! Why can't it be Numbers or Hahum... or something... Ok, there is a point to this story.

That night, I continued to do the usual things (msn-ing, studying, making fun of Ed and Matt...). At the same time, I would check up on my Bible once awhile to see the progress of the drying process. Everytime I looked, It really looked like some was crying over the Bible. And then it hits me. For the past months things have been frustrating. I've been a big cry-baby and always bitter about not getting what I so desire. Yet I know its God's will that is taking control but my heart and my own selfishness is not giving in. Tears and heartbreaks became a routine. I felt there was nothing I could give back to people I love anymore. At the same, there was nothing I could take from my relationships with my friends and KCCF. I was just stuck. Then as I was looking at my wet Bible, it seemed that it was telling me to turn to it every time tears begin to fall again. When I heart was heavy and mind was weary, I tend to stray away from the Creator himself and threw myself out into the world, trusting in things that can be seen and felt by me. The harder I tried to get comfort from this world, the more disappointed I became. I guess this is where the perseverence comes into play. It will be something hard to grasp but I am ready for more. Now I have to go back to drying my wet Bible...

It's 1:40am on a Saturday morning...

2006-03-18T01:40:00.000-05:00

... and I feel like crap.

Sigh

2006-01-25T12:16:00.000-05:00

z

It's day 3 of my exam week and I miss my friends.

Thankful

2006-01-22T12:38:00.000-05:00

The last post would be the last time I ever try talking about anything that is close to politics. Bottom line: go vote on Monday.

In spite of my recent struggles with exams, ministries, family, spiritual walk, and friendships, for the past couple of days I noticed that there are still many things in life that remind me of God's presence. He is still near me and still very real, blessing me abundantly. These things include:

A nice, quiet morning walk to KCAC
Friends offered to cook for me during my monstrous exam week
A good old laugh with my cell group during fellowship, no matter how stupid the activities are
Hugs and kisses given by Tif Chan's eight-month-old Husky
A good four hour sleep at night (better than none)
the way Jon ate his 20 pieces of Chicken McNuggets, just like a 5 year-old kids enjoying what he loves
Opportunities to pray with good buddies

I am stressed, yet I am thankful.

My Courageous Take on the Politics and Civil Rights

2006-01-21T17:56:00.000-05:00

With 5 life-sucking exams coming up next week, I should be studying rather than posting. But as a Canadian with a Chinese accent, I feel that it is extremely important to vote on Monday. I am as ignorant to politics as fat boy to vegetable so that means double crunch time for me in both my exams and election. Anyway, everyone please vote on Monday. Or else, don't complain that your life sucks when you have passed the opportunity to voice out your opinion and make a difference. I can do that because I voted everytime. By the way, what's up with the Green Party?

Cell Group Convo Series, #2

2006-01-18T22:08:00.000-05:00

During a game of Taboo:

Steve: What are girls always on?
Jon: Makeup!
Me: Gossips?
Jon: Drugs!
Me: Perfume!
Jon: lingerie?
Me: Period?!
Steve: No no no no!
Opposite Team: Times up!
Steve: It's the telephone!
Jon and Me: Ohhh...

Jon: What are the countries involved in WWII?
Me: Germany?
Steven: USA?
Me: Canada? Italy?
Steven: Britain?
Jon: No! It got hit by the bomb?
Me: Nagasaki?
Steven: Japan!
Jon: Yes yes! Now what do they have?
Steven: Sushi?
Me: Sashimi? Geisha?
Steven: Tempura?
Me: Tea? Salmon?
Jon: No! They are fighters in ancient Japan...
Opposite Team: Times up!
Steven: Samurai?
Jon: Yes!
Opposite Team: Why don't you just say the Movie with Tom Cruise. The Last ________.
Jon: ...

Me: Who got swollowed by a whale?
Jon and Steve: JONAS!
Opposite Team: Times up!
Me: It's Pinocchio.
Jon and Steven: wah???

Sigh. At least we know the Bible...

Makeover

2006-01-15T23:43:00.000-05:00

Lately some friends of mine (*ahem* Mike and Kwan) have been comparing my looks with and without my glasses being put on. They tried so desparately just to let others see both aspects of me and comment on it. They all believe that I look more like a heart throb with my glasses on and that the glasses can "shrink" my big head that is very unporpotional to my body size. Well, what do you guys think?

Without Glasses

With Glasses

I guess they do have a point...

The New Year Resolution Syndrome (mean post I)

2006-01-11T18:30:00.000-05:00

For the past three days I have been going to the PEC (Queen's Gym) and Library to study for my upcoming exams. I have been going to the PEC since last January (New Year resolution) so that people (*cough* Kwan and Edmond *cough*) won't be able to make fun of my small arms anymore. My workout partner and I were doing the usual but all of a sudden we found that we actually had to wait for equipment... for several turns!!! This not only put a hiccup in our routines but it just sucks to have to wait for even a 12 pound dumbell (just as an example... I don't use that...) We were pissed because we never had to wait for anything in PEC. Then I realized that this is due to the new year resolutions everyone made. "This year I am going to lose 5 pounds." "This year I am going to lose 20 punds." "This year I will stay healthy." "This year I'll look hot"... etc. People give it up. You know who you are and you are going to stop coming to gym after a week or two. While you are pumping your biceps with dumbells you are probably thinking about candy bars and chips inside your head. So just quit while you can. Otherwise you will feel more guilty about not keeping your new year resolution after a month. Then you will feel depressed and eat more to indulge. In the end, you will become obese so DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR AND STOP HOGGING THE BENCH!! The same goes to the library goers... IF YOU WANT TO USE MSN, JUST GO HOME TO YOUR COMPUTER. LEAVE THE SEATS TO THE PEOPLE WHO REALLY NEED THEM! I am so brutally blunt sometimes...

Resolutions?!?!

2006-01-10T00:38:00.000-05:00

Everything is back in full swing now. Streets are filled with students walking to their classes. Keeners start studying after their first day of classes. KCCF and Praise and Power are quickly approaching to my schedule. My apartment becomes noisier and messier. Kwan and Mike start blogging about their miserable lives again. Ah, life is good. I have actually made some resolutions this year and this is actually the first time I made new year resolutions. Hopefully by the end of the year I will at least remember what resolutions I made...

#1 Be on time every morning for my 8:30 class .
I realized it is getting out of hand when my classmates were surprised to see me on time for class.

My alarm clock. Oh, maybe that's why...

#2 Stop making fun of my cell group members because of their ethnic background, personal preference, daily habits, the way they look, level of intelligence...

No need to eleborate.

#3 Read my Bible everyday.

Straight up.

#4 Stick with this verse for the year (esp. this coming term).

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:14

I better be man enough to back these things up. By the way, this is a headline I read on the Stars today: Turkey reports avian flu in 5 more people. Haha... get it?

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Welcome back.

Film Film Films

2006-01-07T11:50:00.000-05:00

Man, last night edmond and I watched 3 movies straight and my eyes are still a bit tipsy. Great night though. Ive decided to start writing crtiques about every movie that I am going to see. I may not be a good writer with all the witty remarks but I can certainly smell a bad film when I see one. I hate films that waste my time... with a passion... so when I'm gonna be as blunt as I can be (even tho many of you know I already am hehe).

The Wedding Crashers

I know, I am probably the only person who hasn't seen this film yet but... (jaw drops) Wow, this film would have been a hilarious film if not for its offensive contents. But again, without being offensive, this film wouldn't have been funny. So i guess it's just another movie that uses sex, racism, sexism, and stereotypes enlighten its audience. For the first half of the movie, all I remembered was the sex scenes coming on screen one after another. Crashing weddings for fun? Don't you guys have anything else to do? Does having sex with sensitive, insecure, desparate single women give you more security in life? Is that the glory you are seeking for? When I thought they couldn't go any lower, Will Farrell showed up and started crashing funerals... C'mon guys. It did make me laugh at that moment but the more I thought about it, these guys sunk too low. Vince Vaughn, why don't you step away from Jennifer Aniston? However, Rachel McAdams is quickly becoming one of my favourite actress. Props to her.

Rating: 3/10
Final Comment: The next time Vince Vaughn yelled Jesus when he is with a topless girl I am going to scream.

Fantastic Four

A film that jumped the Marvel-Superheros-in-films bandwagon. I was in love with xmen and spiderman when they became the subjects of Hollywood movie makers. However, I am not so thrilled with the Fantastic Four. This movie is basically a two hour hissy fit between Mr Fantastic and Invisible Girl, who can't settle for wearing something that doesn't show her curves or cleavage (oh, Jessica Alba). For the whole time each of the four characters are struggling to live their lives as normal individuals after the crash. Yes, it does give the heros character, just like spiderman and badman begins. However, these people have tremendously boring lives. The movie kept stretching that point and made the movie tremendously boring too. When the fighting finally started kicking in, the movie ended. Boo-hoo. It is just another superhero blockbuster wannabe.

Guys, stay back! Audience wants to see me only!

Seems familiar?

Rating: 6/10

Final Comment: More actions please.

LLL

Cinderella Man

@ Blockbuster:

Me: You wanna watch Cinderella man?

Ed: Why do I wanna watch a chick flick?

Haha. This movie is anything but a chick flick so don't be mistaken by its title. An honourable film I might say. The story surrounds a washed-up boxer (played by Russell Crowe) in the 1930s, the period of Great Depression. As opportunties to fight became scarce, Crowe worked and begged in order to feed his desparate family. This is a film that portraits the a man's struggle not only with his earning but also with his faith. I remember when his wife tried to pray with him, he simply said: "I can't do it. I'm all prayed out." It definitely put me back to perspective. Comparing to these desparate characters, our life problems seem so small, yet we still give up on praying many times. The man didn't go to church for months not because he couldn't wake up on Sunday morning but because he could pick up extra shifts on Sundays. The family in this film faces poverty and many uncertainties yet they remained stronger than ever. Little things became blessings for them. The boxing scenes are also very captivitating. Renee Zellweger has always been a favourite of mine and she showed that she deserves an Oscar nomination in this emotional film.

Rating: 9/10

Final Comment: Easy criers, bring your tissue box.

My Loneliness... is killing me...

2006-01-05T23:33:00.000-05:00

Being alone in Kingston is the least thing I would do as a human being in these long cold winter days... but at least I am alive and well. I would love to thank some of my housemates for showing support.

Some conversation over the phone:
Me: Hello?
Ed: Hey, it's Edmond.
Me: Hey man? How's it going in TO?
Ed: Not bad. Gavin, can you water my plants in my room? I think they are dying.
Me: ... sure... Is that it?
Ed: Yes. Catch you later bro. (hang up)

On MSN:
Matt: Why r u in kingston??
Matt: so early...
Me: haha
Me: cuz school is starting for me matt
Matt: what?!?!?!
Matt: why?
Me: cuz that's my program
Me: xray is different from everyone else
Matt: u know wat sux?
Matt: having school 1 week earlier than everyone else
Me: ...

I live with jerks.

Killer Christmas Break

2006-01-01T20:30:00.000-05:00

)
That's right. I'm pissed. My Break is about to end in a day and I am already back in the sacred land of Kingston. Heidi at the back is still smiling because her break isn't over yet. I guess this is a good time to sum up my Christmas break which is quite eventful.

I got baptized just a week before Christmas. I guess my break started on a high note. Everyone around me, my friends, my family, church, they are all rejoicing. More importantly, I felt blessed not because of all the support but because of the fact that there is a God who would provide me with all these encouraging brothers and sisters. However, things started to go downhill. The week after my family received the news that my uncle in Hong Kong suddenly passed away from a stroke, just couple days before Christmas Day. Under the Christmas tree, all I heard is my grandparents crying on top of their lungs. I had never seen everyone in my family shedding that many tears in one sitting. For the whole time I tried to suppress my feelings and told myself "it's ok, gavin, you still have Jesus. Death won't sting anymore. It's ok..." But all I could feel in my heart is the aching pain of mourning. Under all the festivities, Jesus suddenly felt so powerless to me.

The next while I constantly struggle with my faith. I chose to stay away from most of my friends during the holidays and but my heart was busy pushing God away that I couldn't concentrate on anything else. I couldn't do any of my homework. Everyday is just another day to me. The next thing I know, I ended up crashing my mom's car onto another car's rear end while I was on my way driving my sister to drawing lessons. Stunned in my mom's car, I sat there asking God, "This is just great, God. What's next?" I know I'm a bit hurt but i could not feel any pain. Smoke were coming out of the car. Stuff are leaking out of the car and people were telling me to get out of the car but I couldn't response to them (luckily it was only antifreeze). Stunned, hurt, shamed, I thought I hit rock bottom. For the rest of the night I couldn't squeeze out a single smile. My mom was worried sick. My friends were asking me about it over msn. I don't know who, what, or where I should turn to. The next day, my mom was still very frustrated with what I did with the car but she was more excited about getting a new car. Everyone was telling me that as long as my sister and I were ok, everything would be fine. It's crazy to me that everything still moves on and eveyone focuses on the bigger picture. Life is one strange thing.

I guess that God used that car crash to wake me up. If life were perfect, we won't need God's comfort. After I got baptized, it means that my life is dedicated to Jesus Christ, not just the amazing holy parts of my life, but the whole package, including the ugly side. Everyday's purpose is to put Him into the center of my life and even when I am crying, I will be crying on His feet. I know many times we don't feel like to but this is what God wants us to.

The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel - which means, "God with us".

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This is what God desires to do for us, to be with us every single day. He wants us to constantly pour out my struggles into Him through Jesus Christ. Getting baptized means just that. It shows the world that my life worries is washed away and when my new self is a life lived with Jesus Christ. Many times it's as simple as that, yet our sins make it so complicated. I still remember a phrase from a cheesy Chinese soap. "Even when your heart is broken, it still beats." Even when I don't want my life to move on, Jesus will give me the power to push forward. Everyday I am still being blessed even though it doesn't seem like it is. In the end, all I can say is that Jesus Rocks : ).

In spite of all those unhappy moments, my holidays is still full of exciting and awkward things...

My robe floated up in water and I freaked out cuz I'm only in my boxers.

---Go Mom!

My Baptism: no words can describe this

---

Beautiful people playing tennis...

Japanese Buffet becomes a routine in my life.

Such heroic acts will only get flushed down into the toilet.

My life support (apart from Jesus lol)

Mel's Eat-Til-You-Drop Christmas Dinner

Delicious Pecon Pie = Gym Bound

Her Parents actually have a mini dance studio in their basement. Yes! There's a crystal ball!! We ended up doing some ball room dancing on our own...

Kwan and Ehron couldn't fight the moonlight...

Mel was cracking jokes that are out of this world, as usual...
---
Mel: What's a boomerang that doesn't work?
Us: ...
Mel: A STICK!!
Me: hahahahaha... (I was the only one laughing)
---
Mel: What do you use to kill a blue elephant?
Us: (mutter) I dunno...
Mel: You shoot it with a blue gun. What do you use to kill a green elephant?
Us: (mutter) No idea...
Mel: You use a green gun to shoot it down. What do you use to kill a pink elephant?
Us: Uh? You shoot it with a pink gun?
Mel: No! You paint the elephant grey and shoot it with a grey gun!!
Us: ... (even I didn't laugh)

SSo drained from Mel's jokes... took too much out of us...

Cousin Mandy's kick-butt mouth watering juicy turkey

Winter Crystal Ball 05

Joy's in the way.

Kat was in the center of the attention as usual.

And she couldn't stop eating.

Derek won a stuffed animal...

... and darren won a soap dish.

We are just good friends that live together.
.

RIP

Now back to work. Textbooks, rot in hell!!!

When life throws you a lemon...

2005-12-30T19:28:00.000-05:00

****************

... suck it up. It'll be sour but suck it up. Jesus will make it sweet in your heart. It has been an highly emotionally driven holidays for me but it's about time for me to come back to God's hands and be his little child. Life sucks from time to time but God will provide a way for His children to suck it up : )

Now back to work... Die! Homework! Die! (... throwing lemons at my textbooks...)

Happy New Year Everyone!

Life as a Sponge

2005-12-26T00:28:00.000-05:00

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What can be a better way to celebrate Christmas and New Year than to play a no-brainer game. It's a great way to have stupid fun in the midst of all the festive but also stressful activities (ie: shopping). Therefore, two days ago my friends and I decided to play the Game of Life: Spongebob Squarepants Edition. Believe it or not, I was so excited right at the beginning and I just want to see how the game is spiced up with a twist of Spongebob. However, after getting stunned by jellyfish 3 times, changing occupations 7 times, and failing to win a shell phone after 11 attempts, I realized that Spongebob and the gang actually have a very boring life. What kinda world are you living in if it let you switch jobs and houses almost every single turn. Maybe I am just bitter because my pineapple house was continuously eaten by sea monsters. Next time I will win the shell phone for sure. Nevertheless, good times... good times indeed.

Merry Boxing Day everyone.

The One and Only Victoria Li

2005-12-24T01:54:00.000-05:00

Yesterday my church had an English EM and it was an impressive display of talents. Props to you, TSCAC. But most importantly, my good friend Vicki was willing to come to the EM with me. Therefore, to appreciate her being a good sport, I am dedicating this post to her.

Name: Victoria (Vicki) Li
Gender: Female
Age: Undisclosed
Birthday: January
Marital Status: Undisclosed
Height: 5'6'' ???
Weight: Undisclosed
School: University of Guelph, Albert Campbell C.I., Banting and Best
Used to: Wear Braces and Perm her Hair
Now: Harry Potter scarf at all times
Favourite Movies: Harry Potter 1234
Favourite Books: Harry Potter 123456
Favourite Show: Harry Potter???
Favourite Band: Any boybands with decent looking guys
Favourite Game: The Game of Life (Sponge Bob Edition)
Favourite saying: "Gavin, you're so weird."
Enjoys: Long walks on the beach

I met Vicki back in grade 11 physics class. It is the last place you would want to meet anyone new but... oh what the heck... She and I would team up insulting the class genius everyday during class. Now I've known her for four and a half years and we would still gang up on our friends and make fun of them without mercy. Funny girl she is...

The Crazy Perming Days

Her slick Home-made Harry Potter Scarf

Number of times she read the first Harry Potter book

Group Picture of the Old Gang

Her Birthday

There she is.

Right there, radiating...

You can't miss her...

She is very sneaky... indeed...

All Smiles : )

... Victoria Li, you complete my life... haha.

Ouch

2005-12-22T00:27:00.000-05:00

Many of us sing and proclaim that death has lost its sting in our lives once we put our faith in Jesus Christ. It also says that "the sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law." It is a sin to let the fear of death to control our lives since we are not living like a saved person. I completely understand that... But when the sting of death is rite in front of my eyeballs in such close proximity, I doubt I could remind myself that death could no longer defeat or hinder us. Things are always easier said than done.

Yesterday was a big smack in my face. It was late at night and my mom called for me with her eyes filled with tears. She then told me that my uncle (my dad's older brother) has just passed away from a stroke in Hong Kong. I am not very close with my uncle since he lives in Hong Kong. In my expectations, it didn't hit me that hard when I heard it. However, once it started to sink into my mind, the full effect manifested itself. It's the feeling of knowing that you will never see someone's face again and the feeling of inevitability and helplessness inside you. I just saw him the past summer when he came to visit and everything just happened so sudden. No matter how much I do or try to give up for Christ, it seems like there is something in life that will backstab me in some way. Death has never come into my mind with that kind of intensity and all I could ever do is hide.

I also volunteered in the senior home which I worked in for the past summer yesterday. While I was there, I found out some familiar faces among the residents were gone also. Normally i wouldn't be affected by these things so easily but with the death of my uncle, all these things seem to be so much bigger... contain so much more impact... It sucks that everytime when I go back I will found someone gone. Four months ago some of the residents were offering candies for me and now some of them can no longer do that anymore. For the first time I feel pain about people leaving this world and there's nothing I can do but to suck it up. I know that Christ's glory is the only way out yet the pain lingers on in my heart. Turning away from the pain and focus my eyes on the cross is something I feel I cannot do. But God has made a clear statment to me to be strong in the cross... for my family... for everyone around me. Death certainly haven't lost its sting in my life... not yet, and it hurts like crap.

Taking the Plunge

2005-12-19T01:58:00.000-05:00

We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.

(Romans 6:4)

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Yesterday was my baptism, the rebirth of my life, the public declaration of my faith, the "official" cleansing of my sins by Jesus Christ, and possibly another one of my leap of faith. For the past 2 years my decision to get baptized has always been a dilemma. "Is this a suitable church for me get baptized in?" "Am I ready to take that step for Him?" "What if I end up leaving my church one month after I got baptized?" "Am I doing it just for show?" These questions circulate my mind everytime i think about my baptism. It was the past september where I found out that my mom and my grandparents were getting baptized and it would be a great day if 3 generations in the family getting baptized on the same day. Everyone said that I have to do it eventually anyway so just go do it, and so I did.

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While most people would say the baptism ceremony is an exciting time for the baptized, I have certainly struggled with that for the past weeks leading up to my baptism. I couldn't feel the joy in Jesus Christ even though I am getting reborn. Rather, it seemed to be a relief that I am getting it over with. A mean to an end. Everyday I prayed to God to reveal His majesty to me that I may feel that heart-warming joy in Him on the day of my baptism. Nope. That didn't happen. Yesterday on the day of baptism, everyone was so concerned about the order of service, gifts, dress codes, the temperature of water, and all that jazz. Greetings, congratuations, and gifts from everyone overwhelmed me. Sometimes it seemed so commercialized that all it needed was a corporate sponsor. I was squeezing my heart (not literally) so hard just to find a hinding place in me to focus on HIM. I wished things could be simpler and I never believed that God's love is expressed through materialism.

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However, thankfully, I was reminded by a friend/semi-mentor of mine that feelings of joy should not be what I am looking for. It is still important to turn our eyes onto Jesus Christ but that also means to embrace life as it is. Nothing is going to be perfect in my eyes but it is in Jesus Christ that everything is complete. Struggles and disappointments are and will always be a part of the package. A new life doesn't mean a perfect life in my standards but a life devoted to obedience to Jesus Christ and He will make my life perfect : ) I should embrace the fact that many family and friends come and celebrate with me. I should embrace the fact that even though I was rarely in my home church, they still see me as part of their big family. I should embrace the fact that I got a chance to get baptized into His Holy Name, that I am forever His. I should embrace that I am blessed.

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One BIG thank you to everyone who came to support me on my Happy Day, especially the ones who still have exams yet foolish enough to come for a few hours and immediately return to their respecitive campus. KCCFers became my cheering section. You guys almost made me cry, almost... I got a stack of new devo books and Bibles. You guys are great. People from my church and FX, thanks for all your lovin'. Sometimes I struggle to see God's love from my peers and all of you guys have erase any of my doubts. Simply speechless.

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Born Again... lol

No One is Perfect

2005-12-10T22:08:00.000-05:00

I know no one is perfect... well... except Jesus, but I think I have some of the worst flaws a person could possibly have. The crimes which I committed are not illegal or unforgiving. However, most people would find them extremely annoying.

Ever since I don't know when, I has always been told that i eat really loud. No matter what food I am chewing on, I tend to articulate every chew with my teeth really well. Mouth opened or closed, it makes no difference. For a period of time I tried to consciously control my chewing and eating habits. As silly as it may sound like, I thought I have corrected that ugly habit of mine since no one has said anything about the way I eat for a long time... until yesterday.

Yesterday our whole xray class had a test during the morning. Halfway through the test I felt really hungry so I opened my bag and grabbed a banana. Banana is always part of my stable diet so I usually eat it very quickly. On the other hand, I was concentrating on the test so I ate that banana in a span of 30 minute. I took a bite, chew chew chew, put it back on the table and so on... After the test, I went out to the washroom and came back to the classroom. Then, out of the blue, the female classmate who sits in front of me turned around and looked at me with fiery eyes. "Gavin! What were you eating?!" I was so shocked all of a sudden because usually we don't really talk to each other. "It's a banana, _______." Then she looked at me with disbelief. "Why were you so LOUD." and I asked her "Was I really loud?" That girl and two other girls who sat around me said it simultaneously "YES!!" What a great way to piss off the opposite sex. I asked a different girl who sat right beside me if I chew really loud. She respond with a smile and a "duh" attitude. "Yes, Gavin you always chew really loud and when you are doing a test you tend to talk to yourself a lot. I could hear everything." I do mumble and sigh a lot during tests and exams but I thought I do it in a voice level which only I could hear. For a moment there I felt that my world is tumbling down because for the whole time I thought those flaws were corrected by my countless attempts, my chewing was still annoying people everytime I ate with them. Either they were too nice to tell me the truth or they were too dumb to hear anything that came out of my big mouth. I doubt it's the latter. What sounds OK in my head sounds annoying to others' ears. It's also just funny that the poeple who seem to notice my flaws are all female. Geez, it's been a while since I last dated and I wonder why God hasn't given me a girlfriend yet.

I can't wait until a girl standing next to me during worship tells me "Gavin, you sing out of tune. You should just shut up during worship."

Cell Group Convo Series #1

2005-12-05T15:49:00.000-05:00

Disclaimer: I feel that I must apologize to my cell group about my entry about my cell group around 2 weeks ago. It's one of those things where I thought it would be funny but it wasn't. My cell group doesn't hate me and I don't hate my cell group. Now my cell group can finally get off my back.

********************

Date and Time: Nov 25, 2005 at around 5pm
Who: Me, Jo, Sarah, and Becca (not in my cell group)
What: Baking for bake off

Me: You know what guys, we should take a picture of us baking (even tho only sarah knows what she is doing) !
Sarah and Jo: Sure
(Us trying to pose with the ingredients, Becca was there to hold the camera)
Me: Guys, I'm holding a sugar since I am too sweet (again, it's one of those things which i thought it would be funny...)
Sarah: Then why am I holding the fat??!! (She's holding a cup of butter)
Jo: (giggles)
Me: (cracking up inside my head) Alrite, i'll hold the butter. Sarah, you'll be the sweetheart.
Sarah: Well it would make sense. I'm holding the sugar cuz it's white and you're holding the butter cuz it's yellow...
Me: (looking at the bag of chocolate chips in Jo's hand) ... so Jo's brown?
Becca: ...

(flash!)

Much lovin' for the F tofuz.

Oh, so that's what you want me to say...

2005-11-28T00:29:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I was at my home church doing an interview for my baptism this Christmas. Thinking that I've been a Christian for more than two years and an active member in my university fellowship and church, I thought that it would not be too difficult for me to handle. However, during the interview, I had a tough time trying to understand what they were trying to ask.

Rev: So Gavin, can you tell me how you became a Christian?
Gavin: Ya, so it was the end of my Gr 12 year... (a while later) ... so that's how I became a follower of Jesus Christ.
Rev: Ok... so could you tell me what baptism symbolically means to you?
Gavin: (trying to be more personal and give anything but a Sunday school answer) Well, to me couple years ago baptism is always something that would push me to an dead en. I always thought if i got baptised, I would be set to Christian forever and there's no turning back. Of course, now I don't think so.
Rev: Why's that?
Gavin: Now i think baptism would be a joyous moment that declares my love for Christ. Also, it's a public confession that my sins and shame are washed away by Christ's blood.
Rev: Ok Gavin, but biblically what does it mean to you?
Gavin: Well, it means I am letting the Holy Spirit...
Rev: Gavin, you need to go the baptismal class... I think you are not quite sure what it means...
Gavin: Huh?
Rev: Well when you go down to the water you old self is dead and away from you and when you come up from the water...
Gavin: ... you are reborn in Christ.
Rev: Right! So you know!
Gavin: yes... (regreding of talking too much)

At that moment, I just wanna get it over with the interview so all the other answers are typical Sunday School answers.

Q: Who's my saviour?
A: Jesus.
Q: Who gives me the reassurance of hope in life?
A: Jesus.
Q: What would you say to the angels at the gate of heaven when they question your entry into heaven?
A: Jesus.
Q: Are you committed to stay in this church and serve?
A: Jesus.

The fact that I came back to Toronto just for this leaves me very restless. Still, after years of struggles, I've finally decided to get baptized this Christmas. Praise the Father, my God Almighty!

Where's the love?

2005-11-23T20:40:00.000-05:00

Two and a half months have passed and I can't believe how amazing I am as a cell group leader. Everyone in my cell group loves me so much... ok... who am I kidding. I think I am a failure as a cell group leader. Everyone will do everything but love me in my cell group. I feel the pressure sometimes when everyone in my cell group just take turn picking on me and insulting me. Well, I can't blame them cuz they do have their reasons...

- I don't know what's wrong with me but i have to make fun of every single person in my cell group at least once everytime we meet. I guess no one really like being made fun off. For example, a girl in my cell group loves eating meat so I associate everything that has to do with meat with her. I thought that was funny.

Convo #1
Me: She's the "Meat" girl of the group, not the IT girl. Get it?! hahaha...
Rest of the Group: ... (look at me coldly)

Convo #2
Me: Let's do pot luck next wednesday. Anyone in?
Meat Girl: What should I bring?
Me: Meat... (give her the "stating the obvious" look)
Meat Girl: ... (stare at me with hatred)

Then there's one non-asian person in my cell group (It's CCF so almost everyone is Chinese). Yes, you bet. Racist jokes just fly out of my mouth like there's no tomorrow.

At some Vietnamese Restaurant
Me: _____, you should eat more pho. It'll make you become more Asian so you can fit in the group better.
Non-asian: What!
Me: Oh sorry. Uh... it's a joke. Don't get mad.
Non-asian: Hm... It's ok Gavin. I'll pray for you.

At a sharing night
Group: (talking about random things)
Me: Yeah I know! Most asians are either in life-sci or engineering. Wait a minute, we have a few exceptions here. Person A, you're in English. Person B, you're in Con-ed. Non-Asian, (well i said her real name), you are in Nursing. See, Asian students don't always fall into those two categories.
Group: What are you saying Gavin?
Non-asian: Do I look like asian to you?????!!! (with angry look on her face)
Me: (I jus keep digging...) Well, i think some people are going to Asian Semi tonight after Bible Study. Non-Asian, are you going? (I thought that was funny)
Group: (Silence)

There is one frosh in the cell group and, as a "amazing" cell group leader, I picked on him and bossed him around.

Incident #1
Frosh: Hi Gavin.
Gavin: Hey Frosh. I OWN YOU.
Frosh: ... (backed away)

Inciedent #2
Gavin: Ok this skit's gonna be great. I'll be in a wifebeater and acting like a China-man with an accent. That would be soooooooooo funny.
Group: But you don't need to act, Gavin.
Gavin: Oh... Frosh, how about you be my child and wear a wifebeater too?
Frosh: What's a wifebeater?
Gavin: This. (Hand the wifebeater to Frosh)
Frosh: (loudly) No no no no! I am not wearing wifebeater, nothing tight, not showing any skin. Just a plain old shirt. That's it!
Gavin: Ok Frosh... But I have 8 months to break you...
Frosh: ... (gulp)

That's 3 people hating the guts out of me in my cell group. Enough said. You know the idea. I don't have to go on talking about what i did with the rest of the cell group.

- I forced people to come to my cell group events. I threatened to chop people heads off if they don't come. Again, I found people don't like it when they feel threatened. (I thought that would be funny too)

- I tried to be nice and made birthday cards to my cell group members. Apparently, I tried to be cheap too.

Front

Back

I guess that being cheap means buying cards from a dollar store. Making birthday cards out of beer boxes means that you are being a a__hole.

- Showing physical love such as hugging and high-five-ing is very effective in group bonding but showing too much is not. A picture is worth a thousand words.

During the picture taking, I did hear a faint scream, crying for help. Apparantly I got too excited and kicked her couch away and she fell right down on the floor. She thought i attacked her. I did apologize. Since then, she never come to cell group ever again...

I was stupid enough to bring my cell group to do the ccf-famous B52 challenge. Every person had to order an B52 (extra extra large bowl) pho. I thought it would be a fun event. They all hated me afterwards, swearing never wanting to see me or a bowl of rice noodle again in their life.

Pissed

Not having fun

In pain

I could go on but I think you get the idea. Everyone in my cell group is either the subject of my stupid jokes or get physically hurt by me or my brilliant ideas in cell grou bonding.

It really shows if the cell group loves its leader or not since it's very easy to tell...

- When only 4 people showed up in a cell group games night (including the 2 co-leaders).

- Everyone rather do work then come to Bible Study.

- When one of them say "I hate you, Gavin".

- When another one of them say "Why are you so dumb, Gavin".

- When I am the only one laughing and screaming in a game of Cranium.

- When your co-leader sigh all the time about cell group leading (lol).

- When one of them say "Gavin, you talk too much" during Bible studies.

Ok, maybe i have exaggerated a little bie. They don't hate me... that much. For the past 3 months I got to know most of them and they are all amazing people with the desire to learn and bond. God has placed them deep in my heart, every single one of them. In Romans 15:1. it says "We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves." I may be weak but God will give me strength to inspire these amazing people to live a life worthy of his/her calling and my heart is also open for them to inspire me back. Sigh, what can I say? I love my cell group.

... first thing first, I should cut back on the racist jokes.

And the Quit When You're Ahead Award goes to...

2005-11-22T12:59:00.000-05:00

A comic that i read from the Stars today:

Woman: Honey, do these jeans make my hips look really wide?
Man: No dear, not at all.
Woman: Oh good...
Man: It's all that dairy you eat that makes them look really wide.

Oh snap! And many people still wonder why some men (like me) can never get a girlfriend... Alrite, now off to Passion!!!

Who says Kingston is boring?

2005-11-15T18:54:00.000-05:00

Wow I haven't blogged in such a long time. To all of you who follow my blog I have to apologize (well... I guessed i don't have to apologize then). Queen's been treating me well since September. I am learning a lot from God, school, and... well... all over the place. Here are somethings that I have discovered during my stay in Kingston for the past two months.

You don't have to tip when you get take-out (hard learnt lesson).
My right trapezius muscles are bigger than my left.
Never ever run dictatorship in your cell group.
Do not tell other to pray for your good looks during a prayer meeting.
I can't say this enough, but plain yogurt tastes really, really gross.
As a health care worker, one cannot pulpate the patient's breasts, coccyx, and pubic symphysis.
Coach Carter is a very good movie.
Bewitched is a very bad movie.
How the Grinch stole Christmas is an extremely boring children's book.
ER at the hospital does not treat their patients as emergency cases (???).
You do not pronounce Kanye West as "Kenyee West".
A cup of coffee has a greater chance of causing cancer than diagnositc xray does.
People grow their fingernails so they can use them to sniff cocaine.
Thyme is pronounced like "time".
After 12am, I am no longer able to pray with a conscious mind. I'll start praying for hot dogs and fries.
Girls can eat a lot, with no dependence on their sizes.

I run on Chinese time all the time (at least 15 min late).
People can no longer stand me running on Chinese time.
My housemate can punch really hard.
You can actually study in Stauffer Library.
You can actually sweat while playing volleyball. I always thought you just stand in one place and bump the ball but apparantly this sport involves so much more.

As you can see, there's never a dull moment in Kingston : )

Yogurt kills my guts

2005-09-25T22:56:00.000-04:00

Lately I have been craving for plain yogurt. Not because it's delicious but because it's high in protein content. Currently, i am trying to gain some muscle mass (believe it or not). That's why i am trying to finish a tub of plain yogurt in one week. In the beginning, i thought i wouldn't be too bad because i had fruitty yogurt before and it tasted alrite. However, i didn't know the taste of plain yogurt actually kills. The first bite tasted a bit sweet, but it goes all downhill afterwards when it tasted sour and bitter at the same time. Then all tastes went away and i was left standing in front of the fridge with a tub of yogurt in my hand, waiting to courageously try another spoon. I guess no pain, no gain...

The past Friday was the first night of Cell Group/Bible Study night at KCCF. As a cell group leader, I was amazed to see the enthusiasm everyone has and the desire to dig deeper into God's words. However, with a 3 to 91480384 guys to girls ratio, this year will be an interesting one. Our cell group name is called Fried Tofu. Not only because the people of our group are hot and crusty on the outside and soft and smooth inside, but also we want to use the theme vulnerability. We hope that Jesus will rip apart the wall we build around our hearts just like a ripped fried tofu. In the end, the soft and white center of a tofu symbolizes our weak but pure hearts. But first thing first, we must be vulnerable to not only God but to each other. I am getting excited. Other cell groups are also getting excited. Fried Tofu definitely tastes better than plain yogurt.

Do you listen?

2005-09-23T15:16:00.000-04:00

Coming off a rough summer, I came back to kingston feeling very empty. Nothing was left in me to give. Prayers became meaningless monologues and the Bible become an ordinary book. I felt intimidated around my friends and "loner" was written over my forehead. But as a cell group leader of my fellowship and a member of Praise and Power worship team, i needed to find a way out of this. I know that God will certainly take care of everything in his hand since, after all, he is a God that saves. I thought i was starting to do OK until i realized two days ago that i am still not letting go many things that have clouded my heart away from God. There are still people that i have gudges on and things that i would not put them to rest in my mind. As a result, guilt and shame overwhelmed my faith and no matter how much I pray and worship God can still look so far away.

Two nights ago, I was praying with good friends of mine. While I was sharing about my problems and struggle, one of them ask me, "Do you listen, Gavin?" That question shutted me up. I couldn't believe what i have heard. I wanted to say "Yes, I do." But i can't because, no, i didn't listen to Him. For the whole time, i focused so much on myself and on my own strength. Too many times i try to find out what I can do to glorify Jesus Christ and what i can be for Jesus Christ. Too many times i only look at how much suffering I am going through and pray to God to heal me and give me passion. I didn't realize that God could be speaking to me for the whole time but I just wasn't listening... That struck me hard and deep. I couldn't thank all my brothers who try to pick me up through prayers. All of a sudden my life begins to have a direction again. Waking up every morning with the feeling of knowing that Jesus Christ is my saviour is more than enough, I can see hope and glory. Next time when my friend ask me the same question, I will make sure i can say "yes" with confidence that comes from the cross and the cross alone.

Sky's falling apart...

2005-08-19T16:58:00.000-04:00

I haven't blogged for more than a month. What better time to blog than to do it right now right here at this moment. It's 5pm on a Friday afternoon. On an usual day i would be on my way to the gym from work. However, since the parking lot is flooded with ridiculously amount of water, I AM STUCK IN MY WORKPLACE. Get me out of here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe i should sing this song to make me feel better during this miserable time.

(High pitched voice)
"I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain"
(Tears)

As i continue to stare at the swimming pool in the parking lot, gong gong and por por past by me and asked me "Why don't you go home? It's 5." After the tenth time i heard that, i simply remained silent and continued staring at the swimming parking lot.

This is a very random post. What a great blog to mark my return back to the bloggin world.

Helpless, Hopeless, Faithless

2005-07-17T18:25:00.000-04:00

I want to live the way i was made... yet it seems so far away...

I care enough to bring trouble to myself... yet i feel like I am the only one...

Through His faithfulness and righteousness i jumped over an hurdle... yet there always seem to be another one...

The more i want to be selfless... the more selfish i become...

When i prayed for more understanding... the more i don't understand...

I feel like a prisoner for Christ... yet i am still a prisoner of my desires...

I do not want anyone to trouble me... yet i care too much

When i am upset... i am seen as overreacting...

I know nothing is perfect... but i am sick of not seeing perfection in anything...

I am tired.

I am weary.

I am frustrated.

I want to beat up somebody.

I am not moltivated.

I want to... cry.

...

Ugly Feet

2005-07-16T03:07:00.000-04:00

Today while i was waiting for a bus to Metro Square, i realize my life is experiencing the same thing... waiting for something to come, to inspire me, to pick me up, to take me somewhere... While the i am waiting, i get frustrated at myself very easily. Why didn't i come to the bus stop ahead of time so i could get on an earlier bus. Should i walk to the next bus stop to reduce the boredom of waiting? I have been tired, weary, and weak. I am exhausted about pulling things through my own efforts, trying to hand in there by a thread. Emotions cloud my sensitivity to the spirit. Trying to make to the next bus as soon as possible. After i read Kwan's blog, i immediately said "oh crap..." I have really, really ugly feet. But at the same time, the separation between Jesus and I should not be blamed on myself anymore. I honestly truely deeply need Jesus to heal me and drawing attention to my own flaws doesn't help. If i love Jesus, i must love my life as a whole even though it's full of sins. Hopefully i can climb out this hole to the light and truely receive His blessings to my life and it is through Him whom i can obtain beautiful feet, just like the picture above.

I want to live like there's no tomorrow
I want to dance like no one's around
I want to sing like nobody's listening
Before I lay my body down
I want to give like I have plenty
I want to love like I'm not afraid
I want to be the man I was meant to be
I want to be the way I was made

Chris Tomlin

This is how i want to live my life... I do dance like no one's around all the time hehe.

A Date with Gong Gong and Por Por, Episode II

2005-07-14T21:44:00.000-04:00

Imagine yourself wondering thru a jungle in the midst of a heavy fog. All of a sudden you get jumped by 5 jaguars. Not just jaguars. Female jaguars. That's how i feel everyday when i work in the office of the senior home, since all my bosses are women. They tend to do one thing very well: throwing more work at me. While i am busy photocopying some document for one boss, counting inventory for another, and deliver files for another, another one would naturally order me to modify charts and tables with excel. I see it as a very good training, preparing me for the real world that is full of vicious jaguars. Since I am the only man in the office, other than ordering me around, these women tend to make fun of me a lot. With their age, they can all be my aunties too. I think they are using me as an replacement for their sons since they can't stand being separated from their precious babies. How great is motherly love! It makes the office more awkward than ever...

I have just been trained to feed the elderly a week ago. Now i am responsible to feed a por por her meal everyday at lunch. I'll fill you guys in next time... Until then, i will survive the attack of jaguars...

A for Apple, B for Boy, G for Gayness

2005-07-13T13:00:00.000-04:00

That's right. G stands for gayness. Why would I say that? Because I FAILED MY G TODAY!!! That was the stupidest test i have ever taken in my life. It was even stupider than the litmus paper test in chemistry or math quizzes in Math 121. The whole point of this test is to show the whole world how anal driving examiners are. C'mon, it's not even a real job. They won't let you speed more than 1km/h more. They stares at you funny. They check if your head can rotate 180 degree to see if there are any cars in your blind spot. They complain when you are too slow too. It's funny how everytime when i did the right thing they never see it. When i forgot one tiny thing, they take a bite on that mistake and won't let go.

I probably sound like a sore loser right now. I know it is my responsibility to understand how ANAL these people are, so i acknowledge the fact that it's all my fault... Next time i'll make sure that i'll do the right thing at the right moment when he is looking. I will not give him anymore excuses to charge me more money, since one test costs $200, including the driving instructor and the rented car. Now i have to go back to work. Yes, i took half a day off too. Time was wasted. Money was wasted. My youth was wasted. 10 days later, i'm gonna do all these things over again. Joy.

A Date with Gong-Gong and Por-Por, Episode I

2005-07-11T22:02:00.000-04:00

Many of you have already known that i work at a senior home. And if you haven't, it's ok cuz that's wat this blog is for...

Since mid-June, I have been working in Mon Sheong Scarborough Long Term Care Center. The position they gave me is basically "summer student", meaning if there are anything that needs to be done and if you don't want to do it, then just give it to the summer student. It's a title that attracts abusive orders from other staff. How did i get this job? Good question because i don't even remember. One day i was as free as an eagle and the next day i found myself working. God is funny...

If you really want to know what my position is, I am basically the assistant to the assistant of the director of nursing in this long term care center. As the assistant of the director of nursing, she basically has to organize the schedules and shifts of nurses, keep track of all nursing inventory and supplies, order new nursing inventories and supplies, make and modify various forms and charts, data entry, make notes of minutes during meetings, arrange doctors and specialists appointments for all residents, photocopy and deliver memos, order medications and stationaries, make power points, and set up files for all residents. Unfortunately, since i am her assistant, most of her responsibilities naturally shift to my plate. Overworked and underpaid, I love my job. lol

But what i really love about my job is the people. The people that i work with and the gong-gongs and por-pors that live there. Most of the staff there treat me like their son cuz i am the same age as many of their's sons and daughters. It is awkward somtimes having much older people as my co-workers. What should i call them? Uncle and Auntie? First names? Mr or Mrs? Complicated... The gong-gongs and por-pors are even funnier. With their bad memories, I introduced myself to the same por por five times in a day. They love telling me that they will introduce hot girls to me and arrange marriages for me. I know i have the potentials and assets but i feel like they really want me to marry their granddaughters sometime (that's only what i think). 1.5 months to go and i can't wait til the barbecue day with gong-gong and por por on the 19th hehehe

But what is more ironic about my job is that for the past two years i have been making fun of nurses. All nursing froshies from Queen's are my laughing stocks. Now nurses are all i see everyday. I even work in the Department of Nursing. My bosses are nurses. The people i get help from are nurses and PSW's. It seems like it's time for me to find a new respect in the occupation of nursing... But i dun think i will... lol

Praying to Pray...

2005-07-08T23:06:00.000-04:00

Couple days ago in i had an opportunity to pray with some other people from fellowship. But for some reason, right at that moment when it's my turn to pray, my heart felt pressed. I couldn't say anything. I couldn't feel anything. I could feel that my tank was empty. Then i just forced myself to talk and throw in a bunch of prayer items that i honestly dun mean or dun care. I haven't felt like that in ages. Prayers have been a blessing for me for the past few months and it just hurts me when i didn't wanting to pray... I honestly didn't know wat else to say... Stuck. Helpless. I was right in front of God and i couldn't praise Him. That whole night really hit me.

Yesterday, after what happened in London, i know there must be a reason why we pray... Hopefully people who pray is not something that is only found in the Bible.

Immunity from Preregistration

2005-07-04T17:37:00.000-04:00

As many of you know, I will be taking part of the "x-ray" part of my life-sci program. This means that I won't be taking part of any Queen's courses next year. We all know what that means... NO PREREGISTRATION.

Yes, that means i don't have to go onto QCARD early in the morning to find out that all the courses are full because the office set a 100 student limit on a course when 300 students need to take it.

It also means that i dun have to look for electives that will offer me easy marks but at the same time won't use "it's boring..." as an excuse for me to sleep in lectures.

Of course, i dun need to organize my own timetable to make sure i 7 hours of classes in a row.

I, however, do feel left out from all my friends since many of them are currently in a "winner takes all" battle with QCARD and their fellow classmates. I'm posting up the link for qcard for any of you who feel lost in the midst of pre-reg and I'll be supporting you guys in spirit. Thank me later.

Man of the Day

2005-07-03T15:41:00.000-04:00

With power and grace, he has what it takes. Sorry Roddick. You're just not good enough.

Sermon today: live each day like it's the end of the age...

Oh, Canada!

2005-07-02T02:13:00.000-04:00

First Blog on Blogspot... woot woot!

Today... well yesterday... was Canada Day. Nothing special happened. Dinner with family... Nothing special happened. (i have to say it twice to emphasize)

Yesterday nothing happened but i watched the first star wars (4th episode). Great movie. Once again my favourite R2-D2 came to the rescue.

As you see this blog doesn't have anything to do with Canada Day whatsoever...