Yogurt kills my guts

Lately I have been craving for plain yogurt. Not because it's delicious but because it's high in protein content. Currently, i am trying to gain some muscle mass (believe it or not). That's why i am trying to finish a tub of plain yogurt in one week. In the beginning, i thought i wouldn't be too bad because i had fruitty yogurt before and it tasted alrite. However, i didn't know the taste of plain yogurt actually kills. The first bite tasted a bit sweet, but it goes all downhill afterwards when it tasted sour and bitter at the same time. Then all tastes went away and i was left standing in front of the fridge with a tub of yogurt in my hand, waiting to courageously try another spoon. I guess no pain, no gain...


The past Friday was the first night of Cell Group/Bible Study night at KCCF. As a cell group leader, I was amazed to see the enthusiasm everyone has and the desire to dig deeper into God's words. However, with a 3 to 91480384 guys to girls ratio, this year will be an interesting one. Our cell group name is called Fried Tofu. Not only because the people of our group are hot and crusty on the outside and soft and smooth inside, but also we want to use the theme vulnerability. We hope that Jesus will rip apart the wall we build around our hearts just like a ripped fried tofu. In the end, the soft and white center of a tofu symbolizes our weak but pure hearts. But first thing first, we must be vulnerable to not only God but to each other. I am getting excited. Other cell groups are also getting excited. Fried Tofu definitely tastes better than plain yogurt.

Do you listen?

Coming off a rough summer, I came back to kingston feeling very empty. Nothing was left in me to give. Prayers became meaningless monologues and the Bible become an ordinary book. I felt intimidated around my friends and "loner" was written over my forehead. But as a cell group leader of my fellowship and a member of Praise and Power worship team, i needed to find a way out of this. I know that God will certainly take care of everything in his hand since, after all, he is a God that saves. I thought i was starting to do OK until i realized two days ago that i am still not letting go many things that have clouded my heart away from God. There are still people that i have gudges on and things that i would not put them to rest in my mind. As a result, guilt and shame overwhelmed my faith and no matter how much I pray and worship God can still look so far away.

Two nights ago, I was praying with good friends of mine. While I was sharing about my problems and struggle, one of them ask me, "Do you listen, Gavin?" That question shutted me up. I couldn't believe what i have heard. I wanted to say "Yes, I do." But i can't because, no, i didn't listen to Him. For the whole time, i focused so much on myself and on my own strength. Too many times i try to find out what I can do to glorify Jesus Christ and what i can be for Jesus Christ. Too many times i only look at how much suffering I am going through and pray to God to heal me and give me passion. I didn't realize that God could be speaking to me for the whole time but I just wasn't listening... That struck me hard and deep. I couldn't thank all my brothers who try to pick me up through prayers. All of a sudden my life begins to have a direction again. Waking up every morning with the feeling of knowing that Jesus Christ is my saviour is more than enough, I can see hope and glory. Next time when my friend ask me the same question, I will make sure i can say "yes" with confidence that comes from the cross and the cross alone.