When life throws you a lemon...

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... suck it up. It'll be sour but suck it up. Jesus will make it sweet in your heart. It has been an highly emotionally driven holidays for me but it's about time for me to come back to God's hands and be his little child. Life sucks from time to time but God will provide a way for His children to suck it up : )

Now back to work... Die! Homework! Die! (... throwing lemons at my textbooks...)

Happy New Year Everyone!

Life as a Sponge

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What can be a better way to celebrate Christmas and New Year than to play a no-brainer game. It's a great way to have stupid fun in the midst of all the festive but also stressful activities (ie: shopping). Therefore, two days ago my friends and I decided to play the Game of Life: Spongebob Squarepants Edition. Believe it or not, I was so excited right at the beginning and I just want to see how the game is spiced up with a twist of Spongebob. However, after getting stunned by jellyfish 3 times, changing occupations 7 times, and failing to win a shell phone after 11 attempts, I realized that Spongebob and the gang actually have a very boring life. What kinda world are you living in if it let you switch jobs and houses almost every single turn. Maybe I am just bitter because my pineapple house was continuously eaten by sea monsters. Next time I will win the shell phone for sure. Nevertheless, good times... good times indeed.

Merry Boxing Day everyone.

The One and Only Victoria Li

Yesterday my church had an English EM and it was an impressive display of talents. Props to you, TSCAC. But most importantly, my good friend Vicki was willing to come to the EM with me. Therefore, to appreciate her being a good sport, I am dedicating this post to her.

Name: Victoria (Vicki) Li
Gender: Female
Age: Undisclosed
Birthday: January
Marital Status: Undisclosed
Height: 5'6'' ???
Weight: Undisclosed
School: University of Guelph, Albert Campbell C.I., Banting and Best
Used to: Wear Braces and Perm her Hair
Now: Harry Potter scarf at all times
Favourite Movies: Harry Potter 1234
Favourite Books: Harry Potter 123456
Favourite Show: Harry Potter???
Favourite Band: Any boybands with decent looking guys
Favourite Game: The Game of Life (Sponge Bob Edition)
Favourite saying: "Gavin, you're so weird."
Enjoys: Long walks on the beach

I met Vicki back in grade 11 physics class. It is the last place you would want to meet anyone new but... oh what the heck... She and I would team up insulting the class genius everyday during class. Now I've known her for four and a half years and we would still gang up on our friends and make fun of them without mercy. Funny girl she is...

The Crazy Perming Days

Her slick Home-made Harry Potter Scarf

Number of times she read the first Harry Potter book

Group Picture of the Old Gang

Her Birthday

There she is.

Right there, radiating...

You can't miss her...

She is very sneaky... indeed...

All Smiles : )

... Victoria Li, you complete my life... haha.

Ouch

Many of us sing and proclaim that death has lost its sting in our lives once we put our faith in Jesus Christ. It also says that "the sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law." It is a sin to let the fear of death to control our lives since we are not living like a saved person. I completely understand that... But when the sting of death is rite in front of my eyeballs in such close proximity, I doubt I could remind myself that death could no longer defeat or hinder us. Things are always easier said than done.

Yesterday was a big smack in my face. It was late at night and my mom called for me with her eyes filled with tears. She then told me that my uncle (my dad's older brother) has just passed away from a stroke in Hong Kong. I am not very close with my uncle since he lives in Hong Kong. In my expectations, it didn't hit me that hard when I heard it. However, once it started to sink into my mind, the full effect manifested itself. It's the feeling of knowing that you will never see someone's face again and the feeling of inevitability and helplessness inside you. I just saw him the past summer when he came to visit and everything just happened so sudden. No matter how much I do or try to give up for Christ, it seems like there is something in life that will backstab me in some way. Death has never come into my mind with that kind of intensity and all I could ever do is hide.

I also volunteered in the senior home which I worked in for the past summer yesterday. While I was there, I found out some familiar faces among the residents were gone also. Normally i wouldn't be affected by these things so easily but with the death of my uncle, all these things seem to be so much bigger... contain so much more impact... It sucks that everytime when I go back I will found someone gone. Four months ago some of the residents were offering candies for me and now some of them can no longer do that anymore. For the first time I feel pain about people leaving this world and there's nothing I can do but to suck it up. I know that Christ's glory is the only way out yet the pain lingers on in my heart. Turning away from the pain and focus my eyes on the cross is something I feel I cannot do. But God has made a clear statment to me to be strong in the cross... for my family... for everyone around me. Death certainly haven't lost its sting in my life... not yet, and it hurts like crap.

Taking the Plunge

We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.

(Romans 6:4)

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Yesterday was my baptism, the rebirth of my life, the public declaration of my faith, the "official" cleansing of my sins by Jesus Christ, and possibly another one of my leap of faith. For the past 2 years my decision to get baptized has always been a dilemma. "Is this a suitable church for me get baptized in?" "Am I ready to take that step for Him?" "What if I end up leaving my church one month after I got baptized?" "Am I doing it just for show?" These questions circulate my mind everytime i think about my baptism. It was the past september where I found out that my mom and my grandparents were getting baptized and it would be a great day if 3 generations in the family getting baptized on the same day. Everyone said that I have to do it eventually anyway so just go do it, and so I did.

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While most people would say the baptism ceremony is an exciting time for the baptized, I have certainly struggled with that for the past weeks leading up to my baptism. I couldn't feel the joy in Jesus Christ even though I am getting reborn. Rather, it seemed to be a relief that I am getting it over with. A mean to an end. Everyday I prayed to God to reveal His majesty to me that I may feel that heart-warming joy in Him on the day of my baptism. Nope. That didn't happen. Yesterday on the day of baptism, everyone was so concerned about the order of service, gifts, dress codes, the temperature of water, and all that jazz. Greetings, congratuations, and gifts from everyone overwhelmed me. Sometimes it seemed so commercialized that all it needed was a corporate sponsor. I was squeezing my heart (not literally) so hard just to find a hinding place in me to focus on HIM. I wished things could be simpler and I never believed that God's love is expressed through materialism.

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However, thankfully, I was reminded by a friend/semi-mentor of mine that feelings of joy should not be what I am looking for. It is still important to turn our eyes onto Jesus Christ but that also means to embrace life as it is. Nothing is going to be perfect in my eyes but it is in Jesus Christ that everything is complete. Struggles and disappointments are and will always be a part of the package. A new life doesn't mean a perfect life in my standards but a life devoted to obedience to Jesus Christ and He will make my life perfect : ) I should embrace the fact that many family and friends come and celebrate with me. I should embrace the fact that even though I was rarely in my home church, they still see me as part of their big family. I should embrace the fact that I got a chance to get baptized into His Holy Name, that I am forever His. I should embrace that I am blessed.

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One BIG thank you to everyone who came to support me on my Happy Day, especially the ones who still have exams yet foolish enough to come for a few hours and immediately return to their respecitive campus. KCCFers became my cheering section. You guys almost made me cry, almost... I got a stack of new devo books and Bibles. You guys are great. People from my church and FX, thanks for all your lovin'. Sometimes I struggle to see God's love from my peers and all of you guys have erase any of my doubts. Simply speechless.

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Born Again... lol

No One is Perfect

I know no one is perfect... well... except Jesus, but I think I have some of the worst flaws a person could possibly have. The crimes which I committed are not illegal or unforgiving. However, most people would find them extremely annoying.

Ever since I don't know when, I has always been told that i eat really loud. No matter what food I am chewing on, I tend to articulate every chew with my teeth really well. Mouth opened or closed, it makes no difference. For a period of time I tried to consciously control my chewing and eating habits. As silly as it may sound like, I thought I have corrected that ugly habit of mine since no one has said anything about the way I eat for a long time... until yesterday.

Yesterday our whole xray class had a test during the morning. Halfway through the test I felt really hungry so I opened my bag and grabbed a banana. Banana is always part of my stable diet so I usually eat it very quickly. On the other hand, I was concentrating on the test so I ate that banana in a span of 30 minute. I took a bite, chew chew chew, put it back on the table and so on... After the test, I went out to the washroom and came back to the classroom. Then, out of the blue, the female classmate who sits in front of me turned around and looked at me with fiery eyes. "Gavin! What were you eating?!" I was so shocked all of a sudden because usually we don't really talk to each other. "It's a banana, _______." Then she looked at me with disbelief. "Why were you so LOUD." and I asked her "Was I really loud?" That girl and two other girls who sat around me said it simultaneously "YES!!" What a great way to piss off the opposite sex. I asked a different girl who sat right beside me if I chew really loud. She respond with a smile and a "duh" attitude. "Yes, Gavin you always chew really loud and when you are doing a test you tend to talk to yourself a lot. I could hear everything." I do mumble and sigh a lot during tests and exams but I thought I do it in a voice level which only I could hear. For a moment there I felt that my world is tumbling down because for the whole time I thought those flaws were corrected by my countless attempts, my chewing was still annoying people everytime I ate with them. Either they were too nice to tell me the truth or they were too dumb to hear anything that came out of my big mouth. I doubt it's the latter. What sounds OK in my head sounds annoying to others' ears. It's also just funny that the poeple who seem to notice my flaws are all female. Geez, it's been a while since I last dated and I wonder why God hasn't given me a girlfriend yet.

I can't wait until a girl standing next to me during worship tells me "Gavin, you sing out of tune. You should just shut up during worship."

Cell Group Convo Series #1

Disclaimer: I feel that I must apologize to my cell group about my entry about my cell group around 2 weeks ago. It's one of those things where I thought it would be funny but it wasn't. My cell group doesn't hate me and I don't hate my cell group. Now my cell group can finally get off my back.

********************

Date and Time: Nov 25, 2005 at around 5pm
Who: Me, Jo, Sarah, and Becca (not in my cell group)
What: Baking for bake off

Me: You know what guys, we should take a picture of us baking (even tho only sarah knows what she is doing) !
Sarah and Jo: Sure
(Us trying to pose with the ingredients, Becca was there to hold the camera)
Me: Guys, I'm holding a sugar since I am too sweet (again, it's one of those things which i thought it would be funny...)
Sarah: Then why am I holding the fat??!! (She's holding a cup of butter)
Jo: (giggles)
Me: (cracking up inside my head) Alrite, i'll hold the butter. Sarah, you'll be the sweetheart.
Sarah: Well it would make sense. I'm holding the sugar cuz it's white and you're holding the butter cuz it's yellow...
Me: (looking at the bag of chocolate chips in Jo's hand) ... so Jo's brown?
Becca: ...

(flash!)

Much lovin' for the F tofuz.

Oh, so that's what you want me to say...

Yesterday, I was at my home church doing an interview for my baptism this Christmas. Thinking that I've been a Christian for more than two years and an active member in my university fellowship and church, I thought that it would not be too difficult for me to handle. However, during the interview, I had a tough time trying to understand what they were trying to ask.

Rev: So Gavin, can you tell me how you became a Christian?
Gavin: Ya, so it was the end of my Gr 12 year... (a while later) ... so that's how I became a follower of Jesus Christ.
Rev: Ok... so could you tell me what baptism symbolically means to you?
Gavin: (trying to be more personal and give anything but a Sunday school answer) Well, to me couple years ago baptism is always something that would push me to an dead en. I always thought if i got baptised, I would be set to Christian forever and there's no turning back. Of course, now I don't think so.
Rev: Why's that?
Gavin: Now i think baptism would be a joyous moment that declares my love for Christ. Also, it's a public confession that my sins and shame are washed away by Christ's blood.
Rev: Ok Gavin, but biblically what does it mean to you?
Gavin: Well, it means I am letting the Holy Spirit...
Rev: Gavin, you need to go the baptismal class... I think you are not quite sure what it means...
Gavin: Huh?
Rev: Well when you go down to the water you old self is dead and away from you and when you come up from the water...
Gavin: ... you are reborn in Christ.
Rev: Right! So you know!
Gavin: yes... (regreding of talking too much)

At that moment, I just wanna get it over with the interview so all the other answers are typical Sunday School answers.

Q: Who's my saviour?
A: Jesus.
Q: Who gives me the reassurance of hope in life?
A: Jesus.
Q: What would you say to the angels at the gate of heaven when they question your entry into heaven?
A: Jesus.
Q: Are you committed to stay in this church and serve?
A: Jesus.

The fact that I came back to Toronto just for this leaves me very restless. Still, after years of struggles, I've finally decided to get baptized this Christmas. Praise the Father, my God Almighty!

Where's the love?

Two and a half months have passed and I can't believe how amazing I am as a cell group leader. Everyone in my cell group loves me so much... ok... who am I kidding. I think I am a failure as a cell group leader. Everyone will do everything but love me in my cell group. I feel the pressure sometimes when everyone in my cell group just take turn picking on me and insulting me. Well, I can't blame them cuz they do have their reasons...

- I don't know what's wrong with me but i have to make fun of every single person in my cell group at least once everytime we meet. I guess no one really like being made fun off. For example, a girl in my cell group loves eating meat so I associate everything that has to do with meat with her. I thought that was funny.

Convo #1
Me: She's the "Meat" girl of the group, not the IT girl. Get it?! hahaha...
Rest of the Group: ... (look at me coldly)

Convo #2
Me: Let's do pot luck next wednesday. Anyone in?
Meat Girl: What should I bring?
Me: Meat... (give her the "stating the obvious" look)
Meat Girl: ... (stare at me with hatred)

Then there's one non-asian person in my cell group (It's CCF so almost everyone is Chinese). Yes, you bet. Racist jokes just fly out of my mouth like there's no tomorrow.

At some Vietnamese Restaurant
Me: _____, you should eat more pho. It'll make you become more Asian so you can fit in the group better.
Non-asian: What!
Me: Oh sorry. Uh... it's a joke. Don't get mad.
Non-asian: Hm... It's ok Gavin. I'll pray for you.

At a sharing night
Group: (talking about random things)
Me: Yeah I know! Most asians are either in life-sci or engineering. Wait a minute, we have a few exceptions here. Person A, you're in English. Person B, you're in Con-ed. Non-Asian, (well i said her real name), you are in Nursing. See, Asian students don't always fall into those two categories.
Group: What are you saying Gavin?
Non-asian: Do I look like asian to you?????!!! (with angry look on her face)
Me: (I jus keep digging...) Well, i think some people are going to Asian Semi tonight after Bible Study. Non-Asian, are you going? (I thought that was funny)
Group: (Silence)

There is one frosh in the cell group and, as a "amazing" cell group leader, I picked on him and bossed him around.

Incident #1
Frosh: Hi Gavin.
Gavin: Hey Frosh. I OWN YOU.
Frosh: ... (backed away)

Inciedent #2
Gavin: Ok this skit's gonna be great. I'll be in a wifebeater and acting like a China-man with an accent. That would be soooooooooo funny.
Group: But you don't need to act, Gavin.
Gavin: Oh... Frosh, how about you be my child and wear a wifebeater too?
Frosh: What's a wifebeater?
Gavin: This. (Hand the wifebeater to Frosh)
Frosh: (loudly) No no no no! I am not wearing wifebeater, nothing tight, not showing any skin. Just a plain old shirt. That's it!
Gavin: Ok Frosh... But I have 8 months to break you...
Frosh: ... (gulp)

That's 3 people hating the guts out of me in my cell group. Enough said. You know the idea. I don't have to go on talking about what i did with the rest of the cell group.

- I forced people to come to my cell group events. I threatened to chop people heads off if they don't come. Again, I found people don't like it when they feel threatened. (I thought that would be funny too)

- I tried to be nice and made birthday cards to my cell group members. Apparently, I tried to be cheap too.

Front

Back

I guess that being cheap means buying cards from a dollar store. Making birthday cards out of beer boxes means that you are being a a__hole.

- Showing physical love such as hugging and high-five-ing is very effective in group bonding but showing too much is not. A picture is worth a thousand words.

During the picture taking, I did hear a faint scream, crying for help. Apparantly I got too excited and kicked her couch away and she fell right down on the floor. She thought i attacked her. I did apologize. Since then, she never come to cell group ever again...

I was stupid enough to bring my cell group to do the ccf-famous B52 challenge. Every person had to order an B52 (extra extra large bowl) pho. I thought it would be a fun event. They all hated me afterwards, swearing never wanting to see me or a bowl of rice noodle again in their life.

Pissed

Not having fun

In pain

I could go on but I think you get the idea. Everyone in my cell group is either the subject of my stupid jokes or get physically hurt by me or my brilliant ideas in cell grou bonding.

It really shows if the cell group loves its leader or not since it's very easy to tell...

- When only 4 people showed up in a cell group games night (including the 2 co-leaders).

- Everyone rather do work then come to Bible Study.

- When one of them say "I hate you, Gavin".

- When another one of them say "Why are you so dumb, Gavin".

- When I am the only one laughing and screaming in a game of Cranium.

- When your co-leader sigh all the time about cell group leading (lol).

- When one of them say "Gavin, you talk too much" during Bible studies.

Ok, maybe i have exaggerated a little bie. They don't hate me... that much. For the past 3 months I got to know most of them and they are all amazing people with the desire to learn and bond. God has placed them deep in my heart, every single one of them. In Romans 15:1. it says "We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves." I may be weak but God will give me strength to inspire these amazing people to live a life worthy of his/her calling and my heart is also open for them to inspire me back. Sigh, what can I say? I love my cell group.

... first thing first, I should cut back on the racist jokes.

And the Quit When You're Ahead Award goes to...

A comic that i read from the Stars today:

Woman: Honey, do these jeans make my hips look really wide?
Man: No dear, not at all.
Woman: Oh good...
Man: It's all that dairy you eat that makes them look really wide.

Oh snap! And many people still wonder why some men (like me) can never get a girlfriend... Alrite, now off to Passion!!!

Who says Kingston is boring?

Wow I haven't blogged in such a long time. To all of you who follow my blog I have to apologize (well... I guessed i don't have to apologize then). Queen's been treating me well since September. I am learning a lot from God, school, and... well... all over the place. Here are somethings that I have discovered during my stay in Kingston for the past two months.

• You don't have to tip when you get take-out (hard learnt lesson).
• My right trapezius muscles are bigger than my left.
• Never ever run dictatorship in your cell group.
• Do not tell other to pray for your good looks during a prayer meeting.
• I can't say this enough, but plain yogurt tastes really, really gross.
• As a health care worker, one cannot pulpate the patient's breasts, coccyx, and pubic symphysis.
• Coach Carter is a very good movie.
• Bewitched is a very bad movie.
• How the Grinch stole Christmas is an extremely boring children's book.
• ER at the hospital does not treat their patients as emergency cases (???).
• You do not pronounce Kanye West as "Kenyee West".
• A cup of coffee has a greater chance of causing cancer than diagnositc xray does.
• People grow their fingernails so they can use them to sniff cocaine.
• Thyme is pronounced like "time".
• After 12am, I am no longer able to pray with a conscious mind. I'll start praying for hot dogs and fries.
• Girls can eat a lot, with no dependence on their sizes.

• I run on Chinese time all the time (at least 15 min late).
• People can no longer stand me running on Chinese time.
• My housemate can punch really hard.
• You can actually study in Stauffer Library.
• You can actually sweat while playing volleyball. I always thought you just stand in one place and bump the ball but apparantly this sport involves so much more.

As you can see, there's never a dull moment in Kingston : )

Yogurt kills my guts

Lately I have been craving for plain yogurt. Not because it's delicious but because it's high in protein content. Currently, i am trying to gain some muscle mass (believe it or not). That's why i am trying to finish a tub of plain yogurt in one week. In the beginning, i thought i wouldn't be too bad because i had fruitty yogurt before and it tasted alrite. However, i didn't know the taste of plain yogurt actually kills. The first bite tasted a bit sweet, but it goes all downhill afterwards when it tasted sour and bitter at the same time. Then all tastes went away and i was left standing in front of the fridge with a tub of yogurt in my hand, waiting to courageously try another spoon. I guess no pain, no gain...


The past Friday was the first night of Cell Group/Bible Study night at KCCF. As a cell group leader, I was amazed to see the enthusiasm everyone has and the desire to dig deeper into God's words. However, with a 3 to 91480384 guys to girls ratio, this year will be an interesting one. Our cell group name is called Fried Tofu. Not only because the people of our group are hot and crusty on the outside and soft and smooth inside, but also we want to use the theme vulnerability. We hope that Jesus will rip apart the wall we build around our hearts just like a ripped fried tofu. In the end, the soft and white center of a tofu symbolizes our weak but pure hearts. But first thing first, we must be vulnerable to not only God but to each other. I am getting excited. Other cell groups are also getting excited. Fried Tofu definitely tastes better than plain yogurt.

Do you listen?

Coming off a rough summer, I came back to kingston feeling very empty. Nothing was left in me to give. Prayers became meaningless monologues and the Bible become an ordinary book. I felt intimidated around my friends and "loner" was written over my forehead. But as a cell group leader of my fellowship and a member of Praise and Power worship team, i needed to find a way out of this. I know that God will certainly take care of everything in his hand since, after all, he is a God that saves. I thought i was starting to do OK until i realized two days ago that i am still not letting go many things that have clouded my heart away from God. There are still people that i have gudges on and things that i would not put them to rest in my mind. As a result, guilt and shame overwhelmed my faith and no matter how much I pray and worship God can still look so far away.

Two nights ago, I was praying with good friends of mine. While I was sharing about my problems and struggle, one of them ask me, "Do you listen, Gavin?" That question shutted me up. I couldn't believe what i have heard. I wanted to say "Yes, I do." But i can't because, no, i didn't listen to Him. For the whole time, i focused so much on myself and on my own strength. Too many times i try to find out what I can do to glorify Jesus Christ and what i can be for Jesus Christ. Too many times i only look at how much suffering I am going through and pray to God to heal me and give me passion. I didn't realize that God could be speaking to me for the whole time but I just wasn't listening... That struck me hard and deep. I couldn't thank all my brothers who try to pick me up through prayers. All of a sudden my life begins to have a direction again. Waking up every morning with the feeling of knowing that Jesus Christ is my saviour is more than enough, I can see hope and glory. Next time when my friend ask me the same question, I will make sure i can say "yes" with confidence that comes from the cross and the cross alone.

Sky's falling apart...

I haven't blogged for more than a month. What better time to blog than to do it right now right here at this moment. It's 5pm on a Friday afternoon. On an usual day i would be on my way to the gym from work. However, since the parking lot is flooded with ridiculously amount of water, I AM STUCK IN MY WORKPLACE. Get me out of here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe i should sing this song to make me feel better during this miserable time.

(High pitched voice)
"I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain"
(Tears)

As i continue to stare at the swimming pool in the parking lot, gong gong and por por past by me and asked me "Why don't you go home? It's 5." After the tenth time i heard that, i simply remained silent and continued staring at the swimming parking lot.

This is a very random post. What a great blog to mark my return back to the bloggin world.

Helpless, Hopeless, Faithless

I want to live the way i was made... yet it seems so far away...

I care enough to bring trouble to myself... yet i feel like I am the only one...

Through His faithfulness and righteousness i jumped over an hurdle... yet there always seem to be another one...

The more i want to be selfless... the more selfish i become...

When i prayed for more understanding... the more i don't understand...

I feel like a prisoner for Christ... yet i am still a prisoner of my desires...

I do not want anyone to trouble me... yet i care too much

When i am upset... i am seen as overreacting...

I know nothing is perfect... but i am sick of not seeing perfection in anything...

I am tired.

I am weary.

I am frustrated.

I want to beat up somebody.

I am not moltivated.

I want to... cry.


...

Ugly Feet

Today while i was waiting for a bus to Metro Square, i realize my life is experiencing the same thing... waiting for something to come, to inspire me, to pick me up, to take me somewhere... While the i am waiting, i get frustrated at myself very easily. Why didn't i come to the bus stop ahead of time so i could get on an earlier bus. Should i walk to the next bus stop to reduce the boredom of waiting? I have been tired, weary, and weak. I am exhausted about pulling things through my own efforts, trying to hand in there by a thread. Emotions cloud my sensitivity to the spirit. Trying to make to the next bus as soon as possible. After i read Kwan's blog, i immediately said "oh crap..." I have really, really ugly feet. But at the same time, the separation between Jesus and I should not be blamed on myself anymore. I honestly truely deeply need Jesus to heal me and drawing attention to my own flaws doesn't help. If i love Jesus, i must love my life as a whole even though it's full of sins. Hopefully i can climb out this hole to the light and truely receive His blessings to my life and it is through Him whom i can obtain beautiful feet, just like the picture above.

I want to live like there's no tomorrow
I want to dance like no one's around
I want to sing like nobody's listening
Before I lay my body down
I want to give like I have plenty
I want to love like I'm not afraid
I want to be the man I was meant to be
I want to be the way I was made

Chris Tomlin

This is how i want to live my life... I do dance like no one's around all the time hehe.

A Date with Gong Gong and Por Por, Episode II

Imagine yourself wondering thru a jungle in the midst of a heavy fog. All of a sudden you get jumped by 5 jaguars. Not just jaguars. Female jaguars. That's how i feel everyday when i work in the office of the senior home, since all my bosses are women. They tend to do one thing very well: throwing more work at me. While i am busy photocopying some document for one boss, counting inventory for another, and deliver files for another, another one would naturally order me to modify charts and tables with excel. I see it as a very good training, preparing me for the real world that is full of vicious jaguars. Since I am the only man in the office, other than ordering me around, these women tend to make fun of me a lot. With their age, they can all be my aunties too. I think they are using me as an replacement for their sons since they can't stand being separated from their precious babies. How great is motherly love! It makes the office more awkward than ever...

I have just been trained to feed the elderly a week ago. Now i am responsible to feed a por por her meal everyday at lunch. I'll fill you guys in next time... Until then, i will survive the attack of jaguars...

A for Apple, B for Boy, G for Gayness

That's right. G stands for gayness. Why would I say that? Because I FAILED MY G TODAY!!! That was the stupidest test i have ever taken in my life. It was even stupider than the litmus paper test in chemistry or math quizzes in Math 121. The whole point of this test is to show the whole world how anal driving examiners are. C'mon, it's not even a real job. They won't let you speed more than 1km/h more. They stares at you funny. They check if your head can rotate 180 degree to see if there are any cars in your blind spot. They complain when you are too slow too. It's funny how everytime when i did the right thing they never see it. When i forgot one tiny thing, they take a bite on that mistake and won't let go.

I probably sound like a sore loser right now. I know it is my responsibility to understand how ANAL these people are, so i acknowledge the fact that it's all my fault... Next time i'll make sure that i'll do the right thing at the right moment when he is looking. I will not give him anymore excuses to charge me more money, since one test costs $200, including the driving instructor and the rented car. Now i have to go back to work. Yes, i took half a day off too. Time was wasted. Money was wasted. My youth was wasted. 10 days later, i'm gonna do all these things over again. Joy.

A Date with Gong-Gong and Por-Por, Episode I

Many of you have already known that i work at a senior home. And if you haven't, it's ok cuz that's wat this blog is for...

Since mid-June, I have been working in Mon Sheong Scarborough Long Term Care Center. The position they gave me is basically "summer student", meaning if there are anything that needs to be done and if you don't want to do it, then just give it to the summer student. It's a title that attracts abusive orders from other staff. How did i get this job? Good question because i don't even remember. One day i was as free as an eagle and the next day i found myself working. God is funny...

If you really want to know what my position is, I am basically the assistant to the assistant of the director of nursing in this long term care center. As the assistant of the director of nursing, she basically has to organize the schedules and shifts of nurses, keep track of all nursing inventory and supplies, order new nursing inventories and supplies, make and modify various forms and charts, data entry, make notes of minutes during meetings, arrange doctors and specialists appointments for all residents, photocopy and deliver memos, order medications and stationaries, make power points, and set up files for all residents. Unfortunately, since i am her assistant, most of her responsibilities naturally shift to my plate. Overworked and underpaid, I love my job. lol

But what i really love about my job is the people. The people that i work with and the gong-gongs and por-pors that live there. Most of the staff there treat me like their son cuz i am the same age as many of their's sons and daughters. It is awkward somtimes having much older people as my co-workers. What should i call them? Uncle and Auntie? First names? Mr or Mrs? Complicated... The gong-gongs and por-pors are even funnier. With their bad memories, I introduced myself to the same por por five times in a day. They love telling me that they will introduce hot girls to me and arrange marriages for me. I know i have the potentials and assets but i feel like they really want me to marry their granddaughters sometime (that's only what i think). 1.5 months to go and i can't wait til the barbecue day with gong-gong and por por on the 19th hehehe

But what is more ironic about my job is that for the past two years i have been making fun of nurses. All nursing froshies from Queen's are my laughing stocks. Now nurses are all i see everyday. I even work in the Department of Nursing. My bosses are nurses. The people i get help from are nurses and PSW's. It seems like it's time for me to find a new respect in the occupation of nursing... But i dun think i will... lol

Praying to Pray...

Couple days ago in i had an opportunity to pray with some other people from fellowship. But for some reason, right at that moment when it's my turn to pray, my heart felt pressed. I couldn't say anything. I couldn't feel anything. I could feel that my tank was empty. Then i just forced myself to talk and throw in a bunch of prayer items that i honestly dun mean or dun care. I haven't felt like that in ages. Prayers have been a blessing for me for the past few months and it just hurts me when i didn't wanting to pray... I honestly didn't know wat else to say... Stuck. Helpless. I was right in front of God and i couldn't praise Him. That whole night really hit me.

Yesterday, after what happened in London, i know there must be a reason why we pray... Hopefully people who pray is not something that is only found in the Bible.

Immunity from Preregistration

As many of you know, I will be taking part of the "x-ray" part of my life-sci program. This means that I won't be taking part of any Queen's courses next year. We all know what that means... NO PREREGISTRATION.

Yes, that means i don't have to go onto QCARD early in the morning to find out that all the courses are full because the office set a 100 student limit on a course when 300 students need to take it.

It also means that i dun have to look for electives that will offer me easy marks but at the same time won't use "it's boring..." as an excuse for me to sleep in lectures.

Of course, i dun need to organize my own timetable to make sure i 7 hours of classes in a row.

I, however, do feel left out from all my friends since many of them are currently in a "winner takes all" battle with QCARD and their fellow classmates. I'm posting up the link for qcard for any of you who feel lost in the midst of pre-reg and I'll be supporting you guys in spirit. Thank me later.

Man of the Day

With power and grace, he has what it takes. Sorry Roddick. You're just not good enough.

Sermon today: live each day like it's the end of the age...

Oh, Canada!

First Blog on Blogspot... woot woot!

Today... well yesterday... was Canada Day. Nothing special happened. Dinner with family... Nothing special happened. (i have to say it twice to emphasize)

Yesterday nothing happened but i watched the first star wars (4th episode). Great movie. Once again my favourite R2-D2 came to the rescue.


As you see this blog doesn't have anything to do with Canada Day whatsoever...