Where's the love?

Two and a half months have passed and I can't believe how amazing I am as a cell group leader. Everyone in my cell group loves me so much... ok... who am I kidding. I think I am a failure as a cell group leader. Everyone will do everything but love me in my cell group. I feel the pressure sometimes when everyone in my cell group just take turn picking on me and insulting me. Well, I can't blame them cuz they do have their reasons...

- I don't know what's wrong with me but i have to make fun of every single person in my cell group at least once everytime we meet. I guess no one really like being made fun off. For example, a girl in my cell group loves eating meat so I associate everything that has to do with meat with her. I thought that was funny.

Convo #1
Me: She's the "Meat" girl of the group, not the IT girl. Get it?! hahaha...
Rest of the Group: ... (look at me coldly)

Convo #2
Me: Let's do pot luck next wednesday. Anyone in?
Meat Girl: What should I bring?
Me: Meat... (give her the "stating the obvious" look)
Meat Girl: ... (stare at me with hatred)

Then there's one non-asian person in my cell group (It's CCF so almost everyone is Chinese). Yes, you bet. Racist jokes just fly out of my mouth like there's no tomorrow.

At some Vietnamese Restaurant
Me: _____, you should eat more pho. It'll make you become more Asian so you can fit in the group better.
Non-asian: What!
Me: Oh sorry. Uh... it's a joke. Don't get mad.
Non-asian: Hm... It's ok Gavin. I'll pray for you.

At a sharing night
Group: (talking about random things)
Me: Yeah I know! Most asians are either in life-sci or engineering. Wait a minute, we have a few exceptions here. Person A, you're in English. Person B, you're in Con-ed. Non-Asian, (well i said her real name), you are in Nursing. See, Asian students don't always fall into those two categories.
Group: What are you saying Gavin?
Non-asian: Do I look like asian to you?????!!! (with angry look on her face)
Me: (I jus keep digging...) Well, i think some people are going to Asian Semi tonight after Bible Study. Non-Asian, are you going? (I thought that was funny)
Group: (Silence)

There is one frosh in the cell group and, as a "amazing" cell group leader, I picked on him and bossed him around.

Incident #1
Frosh: Hi Gavin.
Gavin: Hey Frosh. I OWN YOU.
Frosh: ... (backed away)

Inciedent #2
Gavin: Ok this skit's gonna be great. I'll be in a wifebeater and acting like a China-man with an accent. That would be soooooooooo funny.
Group: But you don't need to act, Gavin.
Gavin: Oh... Frosh, how about you be my child and wear a wifebeater too?
Frosh: What's a wifebeater?
Gavin: This. (Hand the wifebeater to Frosh)
Frosh: (loudly) No no no no! I am not wearing wifebeater, nothing tight, not showing any skin. Just a plain old shirt. That's it!
Gavin: Ok Frosh... But I have 8 months to break you...
Frosh: ... (gulp)

That's 3 people hating the guts out of me in my cell group. Enough said. You know the idea. I don't have to go on talking about what i did with the rest of the cell group.

- I forced people to come to my cell group events. I threatened to chop people heads off if they don't come. Again, I found people don't like it when they feel threatened. (I thought that would be funny too)

- I tried to be nice and made birthday cards to my cell group members. Apparently, I tried to be cheap too.

Front

Back

I guess that being cheap means buying cards from a dollar store. Making birthday cards out of beer boxes means that you are being a a__hole.

- Showing physical love such as hugging and high-five-ing is very effective in group bonding but showing too much is not. A picture is worth a thousand words.

During the picture taking, I did hear a faint scream, crying for help. Apparantly I got too excited and kicked her couch away and she fell right down on the floor. She thought i attacked her. I did apologize. Since then, she never come to cell group ever again...

I was stupid enough to bring my cell group to do the ccf-famous B52 challenge. Every person had to order an B52 (extra extra large bowl) pho. I thought it would be a fun event. They all hated me afterwards, swearing never wanting to see me or a bowl of rice noodle again in their life.

Pissed

Not having fun

In pain

I could go on but I think you get the idea. Everyone in my cell group is either the subject of my stupid jokes or get physically hurt by me or my brilliant ideas in cell grou bonding.

It really shows if the cell group loves its leader or not since it's very easy to tell...

- When only 4 people showed up in a cell group games night (including the 2 co-leaders).

- Everyone rather do work then come to Bible Study.

- When one of them say "I hate you, Gavin".

- When another one of them say "Why are you so dumb, Gavin".

- When I am the only one laughing and screaming in a game of Cranium.

- When your co-leader sigh all the time about cell group leading (lol).

- When one of them say "Gavin, you talk too much" during Bible studies.

Ok, maybe i have exaggerated a little bie. They don't hate me... that much. For the past 3 months I got to know most of them and they are all amazing people with the desire to learn and bond. God has placed them deep in my heart, every single one of them. In Romans 15:1. it says "We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves." I may be weak but God will give me strength to inspire these amazing people to live a life worthy of his/her calling and my heart is also open for them to inspire me back. Sigh, what can I say? I love my cell group.

... first thing first, I should cut back on the racist jokes.