)
That's right. I'm pissed. My Break is about to end in a day and I am already back in the sacred land of Kingston. Heidi at the back is still smiling because her break isn't over yet. I guess this is a good time to sum up my Christmas break which is quite eventful.
I got baptized just a week before Christmas. I guess my break started on a high note. Everyone around me, my friends, my family, church, they are all rejoicing. More importantly, I felt blessed not because of all the support but because of the fact that there is a God who would provide me with all these encouraging brothers and sisters. However, things started to go downhill. The week after my family received the news that my uncle in Hong Kong suddenly passed away from a stroke, just couple days before Christmas Day. Under the Christmas tree, all I heard is my grandparents crying on top of their lungs. I had never seen everyone in my family shedding that many tears in one sitting. For the whole time I tried to suppress my feelings and told myself "it's ok, gavin, you still have Jesus. Death won't sting anymore. It's ok..." But all I could feel in my heart is the aching pain of mourning. Under all the festivities, Jesus suddenly felt so powerless to me.
The next while I constantly struggle with my faith. I chose to stay away from most of my friends during the holidays and but my heart was busy pushing God away that I couldn't concentrate on anything else. I couldn't do any of my homework. Everyday is just another day to me. The next thing I know, I ended up crashing my mom's car onto another car's rear end while I was on my way driving my sister to drawing lessons. Stunned in my mom's car, I sat there asking God, "This is just great, God. What's next?" I know I'm a bit hurt but i could not feel any pain. Smoke were coming out of the car. Stuff are leaking out of the car and people were telling me to get out of the car but I couldn't response to them (luckily it was only antifreeze). Stunned, hurt, shamed, I thought I hit rock bottom. For the rest of the night I couldn't squeeze out a single smile. My mom was worried sick. My friends were asking me about it over msn. I don't know who, what, or where I should turn to. The next day, my mom was still very frustrated with what I did with the car but she was more excited about getting a new car. Everyone was telling me that as long as my sister and I were ok, everything would be fine. It's crazy to me that everything still moves on and eveyone focuses on the bigger picture. Life is one strange thing.
I guess that God used that car crash to wake me up. If life were perfect, we won't need God's comfort. After I got baptized, it means that my life is dedicated to Jesus Christ, not just the amazing holy parts of my life, but the whole package, including the ugly side. Everyday's purpose is to put Him into the center of my life and even when I am crying, I will be crying on His feet. I know many times we don't feel like to but this is what God wants us to.
That's right. I'm pissed. My Break is about to end in a day and I am already back in the sacred land of Kingston. Heidi at the back is still smiling because her break isn't over yet. I guess this is a good time to sum up my Christmas break which is quite eventful.
I got baptized just a week before Christmas. I guess my break started on a high note. Everyone around me, my friends, my family, church, they are all rejoicing. More importantly, I felt blessed not because of all the support but because of the fact that there is a God who would provide me with all these encouraging brothers and sisters. However, things started to go downhill. The week after my family received the news that my uncle in Hong Kong suddenly passed away from a stroke, just couple days before Christmas Day. Under the Christmas tree, all I heard is my grandparents crying on top of their lungs. I had never seen everyone in my family shedding that many tears in one sitting. For the whole time I tried to suppress my feelings and told myself "it's ok, gavin, you still have Jesus. Death won't sting anymore. It's ok..." But all I could feel in my heart is the aching pain of mourning. Under all the festivities, Jesus suddenly felt so powerless to me.
The next while I constantly struggle with my faith. I chose to stay away from most of my friends during the holidays and but my heart was busy pushing God away that I couldn't concentrate on anything else. I couldn't do any of my homework. Everyday is just another day to me. The next thing I know, I ended up crashing my mom's car onto another car's rear end while I was on my way driving my sister to drawing lessons. Stunned in my mom's car, I sat there asking God, "This is just great, God. What's next?" I know I'm a bit hurt but i could not feel any pain. Smoke were coming out of the car. Stuff are leaking out of the car and people were telling me to get out of the car but I couldn't response to them (luckily it was only antifreeze). Stunned, hurt, shamed, I thought I hit rock bottom. For the rest of the night I couldn't squeeze out a single smile. My mom was worried sick. My friends were asking me about it over msn. I don't know who, what, or where I should turn to. The next day, my mom was still very frustrated with what I did with the car but she was more excited about getting a new car. Everyone was telling me that as long as my sister and I were ok, everything would be fine. It's crazy to me that everything still moves on and eveyone focuses on the bigger picture. Life is one strange thing.
I guess that God used that car crash to wake me up. If life were perfect, we won't need God's comfort. After I got baptized, it means that my life is dedicated to Jesus Christ, not just the amazing holy parts of my life, but the whole package, including the ugly side. Everyday's purpose is to put Him into the center of my life and even when I am crying, I will be crying on His feet. I know many times we don't feel like to but this is what God wants us to.
The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel - which means, "God with us".
****************************
This is what God desires to do for us, to be with us every single day. He wants us to constantly pour out my struggles into Him through Jesus Christ. Getting baptized means just that. It shows the world that my life worries is washed away and when my new self is a life lived with Jesus Christ. Many times it's as simple as that, yet our sins make it so complicated. I still remember a phrase from a cheesy Chinese soap. "Even when your heart is broken, it still beats." Even when I don't want my life to move on, Jesus will give me the power to push forward. Everyday I am still being blessed even though it doesn't seem like it is. In the end, all I can say is that Jesus Rocks : ).
**
In spite of all those unhappy moments, my holidays is still full of exciting and awkward things...
--
My robe floated up in water and I freaked out cuz I'm only in my boxers.
j
---Go Mom!
m
My Baptism: no words can describe this
---
Beautiful people playing tennis...
m
Japanese Buffet becomes a routine in my life.
a
Such heroic acts will only get flushed down into the toilet.
n
My life support (apart from Jesus lol)
1
Mel's Eat-Til-You-Drop Christmas Dinner
m
Delicious Pecon Pie = Gym Bound
m
Her Parents actually have a mini dance studio in their basement. Yes! There's a crystal ball!! We ended up doing some ball room dancing on our own...
.
Kwan and Ehron couldn't fight the moonlight...
.
Mel was cracking jokes that are out of this world, as usual...
---
Mel: What's a boomerang that doesn't work?
Us: ...
Mel: A STICK!!
Me: hahahahaha... (I was the only one laughing)
---
Mel: What do you use to kill a blue elephant?
Us: (mutter) I dunno...
Mel: You shoot it with a blue gun. What do you use to kill a green elephant?
Us: (mutter) No idea...
Mel: You use a green gun to shoot it down. What do you use to kill a pink elephant?
Us: Uh? You shoot it with a pink gun?
Mel: No! You paint the elephant grey and shoot it with a grey gun!!
Us: ... (even I didn't laugh)
---
Mel: What's a boomerang that doesn't work?
Us: ...
Mel: A STICK!!
Me: hahahahaha... (I was the only one laughing)
---
Mel: What do you use to kill a blue elephant?
Us: (mutter) I dunno...
Mel: You shoot it with a blue gun. What do you use to kill a green elephant?
Us: (mutter) No idea...
Mel: You use a green gun to shoot it down. What do you use to kill a pink elephant?
Us: Uh? You shoot it with a pink gun?
Mel: No! You paint the elephant grey and shoot it with a grey gun!!
Us: ... (even I didn't laugh)
n
SSo drained from Mel's jokes... took too much out of us...
,
Cousin Mandy's kick-butt mouth watering juicy turkey
,
Winter Crystal Ball 05
n
Joy's in the way.
,
Kat was in the center of the attention as usual.
.
And she couldn't stop eating.
,
Derek won a stuffed animal...
v
... and darren won a soap dish.
.
We are just good friends that live together.
.
.
RIP
..
Now back to work. Textbooks, rot in hell!!!
1 comment:
times like this i don't know what to say gav... stay strong and look to Him. no one can push or tell you to rely on the Lord except for yourself.. i wish the best.
btw, it's Emmanuel spelled with an E. lol.
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