Challenged

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Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.

~Romans 12:3~

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Two weeks ago was the annual Campus Challenge held by AFC. I had a good time. The program, events, and workshops did not, however, contribute to most of my memorable experience. It was the simplest things that hit the mark: small sharings and reflection. Definitely an humbling experience...

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I have always been known for giving 150% of my time to KCCF. Every single day of my life at Queen's was pretty much devoted to serving in KCCF. "Faith without deeds is dead", as I would always tell my fellow brothers and sisters. Never was I once believed that I should slow down and stay still. I thought I was doing the right thing and I was giving my best to bring God's Kingdom closer. It was during the past two years of serving that I became obsessed with the sucess from each ministry and the support received from my brothers and sisters. Proving to everyone that I can be involved in ministries just like everyone else became my goal of serving.

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I have finally realized what my flaws have been for the past few years. Many actions that I took not only made myself more bitter and negative but also hurt many of my fellow brothers and sisters. I felt shattered and empty. Broken. However, being broken is one thing. Letting Christ to raise me up from all these broken pieces of me is a complete different matter. I have been struggling with self defeat from day to day basis. I haven't been able to truely look past my inadequacies and strive forward as a renewed person. This kind of negativity led to unrest in my soul. That completely contradicts the meaning of believing in the power of cross, the message of Jesus Christ, and the promise of eternal life. As a result, peace and joy in Christ seem out of reach.

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This is definitely a challenge to my perseverence in my Holy living. Please pray for me.