We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.
(Romans 6:4)
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Yesterday was my baptism, the rebirth of my life, the public declaration of my faith, the "official" cleansing of my sins by Jesus Christ, and possibly another one of my leap of faith. For the past 2 years my decision to get baptized has always been a dilemma. "Is this a suitable church for me get baptized in?" "Am I ready to take that step for Him?" "What if I end up leaving my church one month after I got baptized?" "Am I doing it just for show?" These questions circulate my mind everytime i think about my baptism. It was the past september where I found out that my mom and my grandparents were getting baptized and it would be a great day if 3 generations in the family getting baptized on the same day. Everyone said that I have to do it eventually anyway so just go do it, and so I did.
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While most people would say the baptism ceremony is an exciting time for the baptized, I have certainly struggled with that for the past weeks leading up to my baptism. I couldn't feel the joy in Jesus Christ even though I am getting reborn. Rather, it seemed to be a relief that I am getting it over with. A mean to an end. Everyday I prayed to God to reveal His majesty to me that I may feel that heart-warming joy in Him on the day of my baptism. Nope. That didn't happen. Yesterday on the day of baptism, everyone was so concerned about the order of service, gifts, dress codes, the temperature of water, and all that jazz. Greetings, congratuations, and gifts from everyone overwhelmed me. Sometimes it seemed so commercialized that all it needed was a corporate sponsor. I was squeezing my heart (not literally) so hard just to find a hinding place in me to focus on HIM. I wished things could be simpler and I never believed that God's love is expressed through materialism.
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However, thankfully, I was reminded by a friend/semi-mentor of mine that feelings of joy should not be what I am looking for. It is still important to turn our eyes onto Jesus Christ but that also means to embrace life as it is. Nothing is going to be perfect in my eyes but it is in Jesus Christ that everything is complete. Struggles and disappointments are and will always be a part of the package. A new life doesn't mean a perfect life in my standards but a life devoted to obedience to Jesus Christ and He will make my life perfect : ) I should embrace the fact that many family and friends come and celebrate with me. I should embrace the fact that even though I was rarely in my home church, they still see me as part of their big family. I should embrace the fact that I got a chance to get baptized into His Holy Name, that I am forever His. I should embrace that I am blessed.
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One BIG thank you to everyone who came to support me on my Happy Day, especially the ones who still have exams yet foolish enough to come for a few hours and immediately return to their respecitive campus. KCCFers became my cheering section. You guys almost made me cry, almost... I got a stack of new devo books and Bibles. You guys are great. People from my church and FX, thanks for all your lovin'. Sometimes I struggle to see God's love from my peers and all of you guys have erase any of my doubts. Simply speechless.
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Born Again... lol
3 comments:
foolish or WISE!?
okay probably was very foolish
but i dont care
ur awesome
Congrats again Gavin. Although I didn't get to be here this year, I can see that you've grown leaps and bounds in Him. i don't know why but everytime I think of you, I remember your testimony in first year; about coming to Canada, and struggling through it all. And look at what God has done now...you are indeed a blessed baby boy =); just no longer a baby compared to then. I trust you will continue to grow and see God's marvelous work in and around you. Thanks for being an encouragement to us all =D
hahah congrats gavo. you are the only person i know, ever who posed after coming up from that holy water! ;) you superstar you...!!
remember: CCF LOVES YOU! (even though sometimes you'd want us to not.. lol)
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